Month: November 2013

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The BS Behind BMI (or Why BMI Isn’t an Accurate Portrayal of Your Health)

When selecting our health insurance plan for the coming year, I was reading through my husband’s employer handouts about credits they offer based on filling out personal information for health profiling. I didn’t think much of it until I mentioned it to my husband and he said, “According to the BMI, I’m overweight.” Looking at the literature again, I saw that they ask for height and weight. Oh yes, the “statistical scientific” analysis that somehow says that your height and weight determine whether you’re obese, overweight or normal.

“Well, that’s ridiculous,” I told my husband. “You are so healthy. I’m guessing you’re healthier than many people you work with!”

Still, plug in those numbers and suddenly he’s overweight? I probably am too for that matter, but I don’t play numbers games. At least not those kinds. How about these kinds of number games for you? The use of BMI to dictate whether you’re normal, overweight or obese has been based on ranges, which have changed. They used to be higher. They had a little more room for oh, I don’t know, bodily differences?! They, the infamous “they”, decided to make the cutoff 25 for normal. So if your BMI is over 25, you’re overweight. What made them decide this? Was it science? One might think, but no. It was politics. The International Obesity Task Force (IOTF) drafted the new numbers and the IOTF is funded by (cue the music) weight-loss drug makers Hoffman-La Roche (of Xenical) and Abbott Laboratories (of Meridia). Ta-daaaaah. Not so scientific at the end of the day, is it?

So now you have this number, your BMI, that is used to dictate how fat you are, which is supposed to tell employers and insurance companies how much of a health risk you are and it’s not even scientifically based! Worse than that is the idea that we have an obesity epidemic in America and obesity is killing people. Sigh. I’m shaking my head, in case you couldn’t see. The majority of studies actually state that overweight people live longer than those of “normal” weight. Makes you want to rethink that “normal” number again, doesn’t it? Especially if “normal” equals a shorter life.

Take your BMI and throw it out. Tell your physicians that this number has no representative value of your health. Tell them that you eat organic food, lots of fruits and vegetables and live an active life. Then watch their eyes glaze over. They’ve bought into these myths just like most of America. Obesity doesn’t equal disease, or even death. Are you surprised? Do you assume, like most people, that the heavier you are the more likely you are to be sick with various diseases? It’s just not true. Ask me and I’ll give you TONS of research to support my statement. I just don’t want to bore you with studies if you don’t want them.

Just because there are associations between two things does not mean there is causality. Question everything. Is it possible that those defined as obese have shorter life spans because constant dieting damaged their blood vessels? One cycle of weight loss followed by weight gain can damage blood vessels, increasing the risk for cardiovascular disease. Many of these “obese” people being associated with earlier deaths are among ethnic minorities and lower socioeconomic status, which is also associated with pollution and lack of access to medical care. Most interesting is that larger people in other countries are not exhibiting the diseases that we associate obesity with. The countries where these healthier “obese” people reside are countries that haven’t placed a huge stigma on weight. The stigma we’ve created around weight has increased our stress around weight and stress is a risk factor for so many diseases (including cardiovascular disease and diabetes). So is it weight or stress that is “causing” these diseases?

To think, BMI is a fabricated equation created to serve political purposes that can effect what level of care you receive? That weight is this number you’re supposedly in control of? (You’re not, by the way.) You are not a machine: calories in, calories out. Your mind and how you think about yourself and how much stress you carry about your weight or life in general are far more powerful than a number. This is why I don’t accept weight loss clients. It’s not a goal I wish to try to help someone achieve. Weight loss may come naturally with certain dietary and lifestyle changes, but weight is not the be all end all of health. Losing weight just to be thinner will probably do more damage in the long run. Real changes for real people who are living real lives – that’s more fulfilling than crunching numbers and prescribing diets that aren’t going to feed someone’s soul.

It’s just not as simple as “they’re” making it out to be. If the real truth is to be told, it’s our thoughts, ideas and feelings surrounding weight that are killing us. Not the weight itself. Take a deep breath, trust your body and your weight. Strive for health and happiness and peace and joy. These things may sound fluffy and powerless, but frankly, they’re easier to attain than a perfect BMI. Now if only we can get health care providers and employers to recognize this…

Much of what I’ve stated here is information gleaned from Linda Bacon, PhD in her book Health at EVERY Size. As the summary says on the back of her book, “Fat isn’t the problem. Dieting is the problem. A society that rejects anyone whose body shape or size doesn’t match an impossible ideal is the problem. A medical establishment that equates ‘thin’ with ‘healthy’ is the problem.”

If you’re hungry for more, just ask!

Disclaimer: I do receive a tiny percentages of purchases made through affiliate links on my site. The links to these products do not increase the cost to you but allow me to keep this blog going.
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Don’t Judge the Mom Whose Kid Isn’t Wearing Shoes in Winter

Have you seen kids in the “dead of winter” barefoot? Have you thought to yourself, “How could that mom let her kids be outside in this weather without shoes on?” Okay, maybe you didn’t think it, but some people have. I know, because I’ve heard them think it out loud. I’ve seen their posts on Facebook. I may have even agreed with their rants a time or two.

This post could have been titled: Don’t Judge Moms Who…

Or how about: Don’t Judge Moms

More simplistically: Don’t Judge

I didn’t get that vague because frankly that’s a huge topic that I’m not willing to tackle, so I decided to narrow the subject down to something very specific. This way, if it doesn’t apply to you, you don’t even have to keep reading! And if it does, either because you’re the judger or the judgee, then you can keep reading and hear me out. (please)

See my gorgeous girl? Barefoot? In a Target shopping cart? If I could hazard a guess at the outside temperature, I’d probably say it was 45 degrees. Pretty chilly if you ask me. Shoe weather, I’d say. And I did say. Repeatedly. But when you’ve been trapped in the house for three days with a sick three-year-old and a sick 21-month-old and you’re desperate to get out and do something, anything… well, shoes just don’t seem to matter.

Are you thinking to yourself, “She’s been sick? And she’s not wearing shoes?”

Yes. I hang my head in shame before you. And then I look up and a host of clichés pile themselves at my feet. “Don’t throw stones in glass houses.” “Only if you’re without sin, cast the first stone.” “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

Firstly, she had fuzzy, warm pink boots on in the car. When we arrived at the store, they were off. Secondly, I put them back on! I really did! It’s entirely possible that she had them on the whole time we were outside, walking into the store. Once we were inside the store though, her mission became the removal of the shoes. And once she’d completed that mission, she had to throw them as far as she could. Between trying not to lose the shoes, giving her snacks and drinks on demand so she wouldn’t be a screaming toddler in a store, which people hate, and keeping an eye on the three-year-old who was touching everything at eye-level and probably wiping her nose on her sleeve, I decided shoeless would work for me. Only then did I think to take this picture. Only then did I realize that judgments were probably being made. In fact, maybe someone in that very store went home to post about my mothering skills on their Facebook page! Or maybe they didn’t even wait that long and they posted from their phone while they stood in the checkout line. Anything’s possible.

This wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last. Today, my-three year-old would not put on shoes. And when I finally got her shoes on, she refused her sweater. It was 40 degrees outside. I suppose some parenting guru would say, “You put the shoes and sweater on and you make her wear them.” Yes, I suppose I could. But what would the parenting guru say if I had to take my child into the library wearing the shoes and sweater and force everyone in the library to listen to her screams and moans and wails as she thrashes around on the floor because she’s three and searching for some way to exercise her independence? Probably nothing. We compromised. She wore the shoes and ditched the sweater. It’s a 50 second walk from the car to the library door. I decided she’d survive. But who knows what other people thought as they saw that poor, little girl in the freezing cold without a jacket. Sigh.

Earlier this week, my youngest threw a shoe so far that it could’ve knocked someone out had it hit them in the head. Thankfully, it landed in a pile of potatoes. Not thankfully, we were at Costco, so that pile of potatoes was super-bulk-size and I’m lucky I recovered the shoe at all.

Barefoot babies in winter. A tragedy? A reason to judge? At least an excuse to criticize? Or a realization that some things aren’t in our control. Some things don’t seem worth the battle. Sometimes as moms, we pick and choose our battles so specifically, because we’re trying to avoid the judgment that a miserable, frustrated toddler’s tantrum would bring on us and in doing so, we only attract more judgment. Alas, perhaps it’s a losing battle. In fact, the chances are, the only people reading this blog are the moms whose kids have gone out in the winter without shoes! So the people who actually judge those moms aren’t reading the blog and probably won’t change their ways any time soon.

Ah well, here’s to us moms. Here’s to the moms who choose their battles based on important things like life and death, not battles of will. Here’s to moms who aren’t out to teach their kids whose boss, but to allow them the freedom of brief moments of independence instead of micromanaging their every move. Here’s to moms who have kids with autism, ADHD, ADD, SPD, ODD, or any number of diagnoses that make something as simple as shoes more difficult than most people could fathom. Here’s to the moms who have strong, brilliant children who take stands for these “little things” that feel like really “big things” to them. Here’s to the moms who don’t care what other people think. Here’s to the moms who do.

We’re going to be okay.

And so are our kids.

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Why I Won’t Take All My Kids Toys Away

Have you read this blog about the mom taking all her kids toys away? The first time I read it I thought, “Wow! That’s such a huge move and it seems to have had amazing results!” The more I thought about it, I started watching my kids and wondering if they would benefit, or if we would benefit as a family. I’ve decided nope, they wouldn’t and we wouldn’t. It’s not that we can’t live with less and it’s not that I’m not a fan of minimalism, it’s because I don’t want to do that to them.

So many toys have come from family and friends. When I look around at it all, I do want to clean it up, organize it more, separate things for donations or store for memory’s sake, but I don’t want to give it away. The stuffed deer was my husband’s when he was a little boy. He named it Pan without having any knowledge at the time of the Greek mythological god of shepherds and flocks, nature and hunting. It’s ironic and it’s touching. The My Little Pony was given to my three-year-old on her second birthday by my cousin. One of the baby dolls was given to my second daughter when she was just a new baby and now my older daughter sleeps with it. The other baby was given to my oldest the day her sister was born. Sophie the Giraffe was a teething friend for both girls, given by their grandparents. The dress-up boy doll with snaps and buttons was a gift from my brother and my sister-in-law as he and I remembered fondly our Snoopy that had the snaps and buttons and zippers to teach us those skills. The list goes on and on… I deeply value the love and thought behind every toy our friends and family have bestowed upon our girls and I’m just not going to discard them.

Going along the lines of the blog I mentioned, I have noticed that my kids play more with a clean and open creative space. It’s not the absence of toys, it’s the ability to choose certain ones to play and create with. (It’s really not unlike my desire to bake something when my kitchen counters are spotless.) Today, I cleaned their room, picked everything up and it felt so good in there. Immediately, my three-year-old came in and said, “Wanna play in here with me?” Yes, yes I do. It feels so nice in here… She quickly pulled out a ton of toys, laid out a blanket (handmade for my second child by another cousin) and gathered her toys and stuffed animals to the middle for a sleepover. We rolled around on the floor with Pandora playing in the background. We pretended to sleep and pretended to wake up. We ate grapes and we talked about which toys made us feel the happiest. My youngest (21-months) ran circles around us and giggled. I gently explained to the oldest that the “baby” just doesn’t understand pretend yet and it’s okay if she doesn’t go to sleep.

I get to have these moments and cherish these moments with my girls. I’ll never forget times like that. And I hope they won’t either. All of us together and all their toys piled on top of us. Clutter and all.

Minimalism is the concept that less is more. I love it. As I look around at my cluttered, lived-in home, I know less is more and I want to clear all the clutter. I know that our minds would be at ease if we weren’t staring into the closets and cabinets of plenty, but I haven’t done a lot about that and I’m not going to start with my kids. If, as I pursue a less cluttered home, my kids see and want to change their lives in this way also, then I will support them. That’s my decision for them. I don’t want to take their things away and not let them have a say. I don’t want to push minimalism on them as a way of life without them having a choice. We’re all good moms doing the best we can and without judgment I can say that taking all the toys away is just not for me. And if you do it and I don’t, we can still be friends, right?

My purpose of this blog isn’t to talk about whether it’s right or wrong to take away your kids’ toys. It’s just a way of putting the idea of minimalism out there and the many obstacles that might arise when you pursue it. I have a pile in the garage of things to sell and give away and I’m working towards those adventures as time allows. But minimizing stuff takes time too. Valuable time. Time I could spend having pretend sleepovers with my girls and preparing healthy meals for them. If you have success stories of de-cluttering or minimizing that you’d like to share, I’d love to hear them! What I dread most is another thing (or hundreds of things) on my already full daily to-do list. So, I’m gonna take this slow… like just talking about it here and letting it simmer in the back of my brain.

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Non-Toxic Skin Care

I posted a question on my Facebook Page: What do you want to know more about? I definitely want to write on topics that are powerful and helpful in your journey. One request was for information on skin care and how to do it without all the chemicals. So, I’ve gathered information and resources that I hope will help you!

Could there be anything wrong with your current skincare regimen? Maybe. Maybe not. Have you read the ingredients? Yes, all the ingredients. Are they pronounceable? Are they edible? Okay, maybe you think I’m going off the deep end here, but the majority of the things you put on your skin (try 60-80%) get absorbed into your bloodstream, not unlike the food you eat being absorbed and assimilated as well. So, is it edible? Chances are, it’s not.

Some ingredients to look for and AVOID are:

  • Propylparaben: presents toxicity for developmental and reproductive systems, disrupts endocrine system, inhibits immune system and is toxic to the environment. Found in over 7,000 products including those made by: Suave, Cover Girl, Clairol, Physicians Formula, Aussie, Avon, Biolage, Elizabeth Arden, Clinique, Neutrogena, et al)
  • Methenamine (formaldehyde releaser): cancer-causing agents toxic to organs, and inhibits immune system. Found in 4 products including those made by: Suave, Sally Hansen, St. Ives, et al)
  • 2-Bromo-2-Nitropropane-1.3-Diol (formaldehyde releaser): cancer causing agent, toxic to the environment, inhibits immune system, causes irritation to skin, eyes and lungs, and toxic to organs. Found in 146 tested products including those made by: Suave, Boots, CVS, Davines, Simple, et al)
  • Butylparaben: causes changes at cellular and biochemical levels, toxic for developmental and reproductive systems, disrupts endocrine system, and inhibits immune system. Found in over 4,000 tested products including those made by: Clinique, Maybelline, Boots, Clearsil, CVS, LORAC, Avon, Back to Basics, Neutrogena, et al).

These are just a few that caught my attention. Trust me, there are more! Are you curious about your products? Go to EWG Skin Deep and type in your favorite product or brand and read about it. They give an overall score of skin products from 0-10. A lower score doesn’t necessarily mean it doesn’t contain toxic ingredients, but it does mean it contains less than others. Try searching for a new body wash (something that you use all over your skin and is absorbed so easily with warm water and open pores). Look for one that received a better grade like Coastal Classic Creations (score: 0), Loving Naturals (score: 0), Bare Organics Inc. (score: 0), Celadon Road (score: 0), or Dr. Bronner’s (score: 0). A facial moisturizer by Be Natural, Aura Cacia, Gio’vane, or Kiss My Face is going to be far less toxic for your skin and your health. Check out the website, search for some new options. Let me know what you discover!

Remember when I wrote about boosting immunity to remain healthy or recover quickly from an illness? So many of these chemicals inhibit the immune system! Maybe we should start there! And then the issues of infertility and cancer come to mind and I think, “Why aren’t we looking at the crap that goes into our bloodstream through our skin? This stuff is supposedly regulated and somehow approved for us to use and absorb?!” Are we science experiments or what? Besides, who told us we needed all this stuff anyway? I am 99% makeup-free. I wear eyeliner sometimes, but that’s about it. Do you know what one of the most toxic substances is? Mascara. Haven’t worn it since middle school, but I know lots of women who do. I promise you: you’re beautiful. I know it. You should know it too. Smile. Laugh. Kiss. Breathe. Beauty is made of these things, not hundreds of dollars of toxic products.

I know it’s overwhelming. Learning to live a more healthy life is not a destination that you have to try to get to quickly. It’s a journey and it’s an evolution. The more you know, the more power you have over your health and your family’s health. One method that’s helpful in order to make changes is to replace products as you use them up. So when you run out of body wash, search for a healthier option. As your moisturizer runs low, look for a new one that has received a good grade on EWG Skin Deep or at the very least contains ingredients you can pronounce and define!

We can’t rule out home recipes for non-toxic skin care either. A good quality coconut oil will go a long way in the skin care department. Used sparingly as a moisturizer before bed, you may find you need nothing else. Coconut oil contains one ingredient: coconut oil. It spreads easily and works into your skin not leaving you greasy or sticky. An easy skin toner you can use is a 50/50 mixture of white vinegar and water spread on with a cotton ball. You can find 9 other recipes for homemade toners at BeautyHealthTips. Just think about one thing at a time. I’m happy to review products if you like or try out some homemade recipes. Just let me know. Remember, we are in this together!

P.S. If you’re not buying my whole “you’re beautiful without all the crap” message, check out No More Dirty Looks. They are some gorgeous make-up wearing divas who review and write about non-toxic products so you can still get your glam on without trashing your insides.

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Healthy Meal Planning on a Budget

I don’t know about you, but meal planning didn’t come naturally to me for a long time. I didn’t like planning what I was going to eat a week in advance. Sometimes I’d get an idea for a meal and go out and buy all the ingredients and it would be wonderful, but I couldn’t do that every day. I also got to the point, when I had babies, that I couldn’t just run to the store any time I wanted to make a new recipe. As a family we had a to figure out how to get enough groceries in each week so we weren’t making multiple trips to the store and we had to do that within our budget.

A budget is a loose term here. I can’t say I only spend $50 a week on groceries. I’d like to say that, but I can’t. Instead, I will be completely honest and say that the majority of our money goes to food. When I go over our bills each month, I see our grocery store and Amazon (subscribe and save) as the biggest numbers. I firmly believe that you either pay now or pay later when it comes to health. With that said, paying now means literally paying now, every day for foods that are more expensive because they are healthier. We stay away from the dirty dozen (produce with the most pesticides) and purchase meats that have not been given hormones or antibiotics. Most grocery stores have a line of meat and poultry that follow these guidelines.

When we moved to Virginia, we had to find a grocery store that carried what we were used to and it was disappointing at first until we realized that we might have to get creative. We discovered Martins (which is a store linked with Giant) and they had a natural section. Within that section and their Nature’s Promise line, we’ve found many new favorites that fall under our idea of healthy. We also use Amazon Subscribe & Save for many regular purchases that were getting too pricey at the grocery store (things like toothpaste, shampoo, toilet paper, deodorant and gluten-free Pamela’s Pancake Mix). Costco, Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s are 45 minutes away, so we shop there every six weeks or two months and stock up on things we can’t find here or afford here, like organic brown rice pasta, goat cheese, healthier pet food and some condiments. Gluten-free flours I buy directly from the website or Amazon. Pamela’s Pancake Mix I use for pancakes, cookies and quick breads:

Better batter flour I use as an all-purpose flour:
Jules gluten-free flour I use specifically for breads (not available on Amazon).

I’m going to lay out for you what I do each week. Maybe it will inspire you to find your own way to make meal-planning work for you so you can stick to a budget and not run to the grocery store every other day. I’ve found that our grocery store puts out a new ad on Sundays. Since Sundays are our day at home together anyway, it makes sense to do our grocery shopping for the week and then settle in for the week with our plan in place.
Here’s a snapshot of the ad for Martins this week, specifically showing you their very small Nature’s Promise section. As you can see, there was hardly any meat on sale and very little else to speak of. This is when I turn to my freezer. Whenever something is on sale, I buy 2-3 of it, whether it’s chicken, steaks or roasts. These come in handy on the poor sale weeks. I took one glance at this week’s ad and began meal-planning out of my freezer. Usually, we purchase fish and I cook this on Monday because it’s fresh and I don’t want it to go bad. We also usually purchase chicken, which I will cook on Tuesday, also because the thought of chicken going bad makes my stomach turn. Meat just seems to have a longer shelf life. Generally, I have 1-2 vegetarian meals a week, one fish, one chicken and one meat. I also rotate rice, quinoa, potatoes, bread and pasta as our starches. Friday is take-out. This keeps us all sane and it stops us from grabbing take out just because it’s easier. Those dollars add up if we get food elsewhere on a regular basis. We also don’t feel great when we eat takeout regularly so we limit it to one day. And the weekends? I leave those up to my incredible husband! Sometimes we travel, sometimes we have company and sometimes it’s just us, so we play it by ear.
Here’s a snapshot of the meal plan for the week. I always consider my week before planning. For instance, Wednesday I’ll be very busy and don’t know how much time or energy I’ll have to cook, so I have some soups stored in the freezer that I can pull out and serve with some fresh vegetables. Because I have chicken and meat in the freezer, I can turn to those items this week for meal ideas and use this shopping trip to stock up on things that we’re running out of: capers, olives, red wine vinegar, cat litter and frozen fruit. You can see it all on my list here (don’t judge the typos!):
This may all seem like a lot and I guess it is, but it has become a ritual for me. I sit down with my coffee after breakfast and pull up the ads. I also use Pinterest and store up my favorite recipes and recipes I want to try so I can find some inspiration when I get bored. You can follow me on Pinterest here if you’re looking for some inspiration too!

I’m also not an extreme couponer by any means, but I do save coupons for items I know we buy. Many of the brands we use offer coupons on their site, like Stonyfield, Simply Organic spices and Almond Breeze. I’m on the mailing list for Martins and they send coupons monthly that we use when applicable. The hardest part about couponing is the lack of coupons for things that we buy, especially organic items and gluten-free items. That’s why I’ve subscribed to some e-mail lists that send out e-mails about coupons for these items and every once in awhile I find one that we definitely use! Organic Deals and Coupons and Gluten Freely Frugal are my favorites.

I don’t have a desire to become a blog that’s all about coupons and deals, but I’m happy to let you know about organic deals if I find them and if you’d like that? Let me know! Please feel free to let me know if you come across any either. We’re in this together and it’s easier that way!