Month: January 2014

I’ve mentioned affirmations before (here). They are words and thoughts that are used to help create change. Our minds are such powerful tools to use for good! There have been times when my 3-year-old was sick and I would say, “Can you say, ‘I am healthy’?” And she would say it and smile. This was a test. Would she repeat the words I said? Would she learn to believe them? I kind of lost sight of my experiment for a while, until a particularly disturbing day unfolded with words that I did not think I would hear from her for another 10 years, if ever.

We’d had a wonderful day thus far and it was afternoon, post-nap. She wanted to work in her Pre-K workbook, something that we always do together. We had finished the tracing lines and loops section with relatively few outbursts and we were moving on to the alphabet. I was a little nervous. After finishing the big “A” and little “a” pages with such excitement and success, she wanted to move on to the letter “B”. We tried a few times, tracing the straight line and then making the curves. Her face crumbled and she pushed the pen at me. “You do it,” she said. I took the pen and gently told her I wasn’t going to do it for her, but I could help her hold the pen and trace the letters. She shook her head, grabbed the pen and threw it. I took a deep breath and grabbed her hands in mine. I said, “I know it’s hard work.” She scrunched up her face and said through her tears, “I’m not good! I’m not smart! I’m not amazing!”

Oh, my heart. It still brings tears to my eyes. How could such powerful, strong, negative words come out of my little girl’s mouth? How could she say such horrible things about herself? I grabbed hold of her tightly and felt her so tensely holding onto all this anger and frustration. I kept reiterating that the work was hard but she was good, smart and amazing. She kept saying the opposite. It all continued onto the couch where I held her through screaming, crying, kicking and then just those little shudders that occur after an intense cry. I had turned a cartoon on for her little sister so she wouldn’t be too lonely or scared during the outburst. My oldest initially yelled at me for that too, but after calming down, she asked for a specific show. I was relieved she’d stopped crying and I took a deep breath. Before I could speak, she said, “I am really good at saying words!” I laughed with tears in my eyes and said, “Yes, Sweets, you are.” And then she laughed. And I laughed some more. And we curled up into each other, safe and warm and suddenly okay with everything that had happened, and laughed.

I was still shaken that night as we got ready for bed so I decided to try to talk to her before she went to sleep. She often asks that one of us sit with her for a few minutes (“a shoe minutes”, in her words) each night. I told her that learning a new skill takes time. Not being able to do it doesn’t make you “not good”, it just means you need to practice and sometimes it’s just because you’re little. I told her I couldn’t write letters when I was 3, either. She looked hopeful and asked, “But you could do it when you got bigger?” Yes, yes I could do it when I got older. I asked her if she could repeat some things after me. I started with, “I am good.” She said, “I am good.” Then she giggled. I said, “I am kind.” She solemnly said, “I am kind.” I said, “I am smart.” She said, “I am smart, but, but I can’t write letters!” Again, we talked about skills and age and how she is still smart even if she can’t write letters yet. We started over again. Here are our affirmations:

I am good.

I am kind.

I am smart.

I am amazing.

When she finished her first round, she put her hand over her heart, smiled and said, “I will remember, Mommy.” We now say these four affirmations every night, three times. She smiles every time. Sometimes she puts her hand on her heart. Sometimes she’s serious, but ends up giggling. I’m amazed every night that this is becoming a part of her identity, the way she sees the world and the way she identifies herself.

I’ve decided to take this a step further. We also have an almost 2-year-old, who isn’t quite at the language stage. She happily flits from activity to activity and is very gentle and accepting, in ways our older daughter is not. I’ve worried about her being neglected or just ignored, overshadowed by her big sister with her big demands. I’ve worried that our oldest will ask for everything she needs and get it, while our youngest will ask for nothing. This in mind, I’ve started spending “a shoe minutes” with our youngest at bed time as well. I’ve started rubbing her back and saying, “You are good. You are kind. You are smart. You are amazing.” I love how she looks back at me and smiles. The second night I did it, she said, “Thank you, Mommy.” The third night I did it, she kept saying, “May-zehn!” (her word for “amazing”.) Now, when I lean over her in the crib she says, “Ah-may-zen”. All I can think is, “Yes, yes you are.”

As with all things in the world of my 3-year-old, not every day is compliant or predictable. One thing I’ve found though, no matter how many times we’ve butted heads or cried or yelled, is that this time at night is special. She doesn’t always want to say the affirmations, but she allows me or daddy to say them and I find it rather healing. Looking into my incredibly strong, fiercely opinionated daughter’s eyes at the close of a day and telling her, “You are good. You are kind. You are smart. You are amazing,” makes me feel renewed and she keeps her hand on her heart, pondering each phrase. I do encourage the use of affirmations in your own life, but I especially encourage the use of them in your children’s lives. Speaking such goodness over them is uplifting and I believe paints a picture of how we see them and how they can learn to see themselves.

Here we go into another week and I have a pretty good meal plan I’m working with:

Monday: tilapia (#9), garlic butter rice, roasted asparagus

Tuesday: roast chicken with roasted sweet potatoes, carrots & onions

Wednesday: my favorite meatloaf recipe (I use oats instead of bread crumbs), mashed potatoes and roasted or steamed cauliflower

Thursday: tamale pie – I’m going to work this recipe up for you soon – it’s basically beans and vegetables and tomatoes and corn cooked with a cornbread crust – amazing!

I’ve been wracking my brain for healthier snacks. Now that my 3-year-old gets up by herself in the morning, turns on the TV and rummages in the pantry for a snack, I just can’t handle getting up to find a half-eaten bag of chips on the couch. We aren’t a family that censors food; I don’t want to pass on food issues to my children that way. So, we have chips, cookies and the like in our pantry. Moderation is our motto. Still, seeing my daughter devour a bag of BBQ-flavored organic potato chips throughout the course of a weekend put something in perspective for me. I need other options.

I bought some roasted seaweed. She loves it. I’ve gotten Pamela’s Anywhere Bars and they’re a big hit (affiliate links below). I made fruit leathers and they were a hit too. So, I’m trying to make foods that will keep in the pantry and be a first choice for her in the morning. I decided to try kale chips, using this recipe here.

The first time I tried to make kale chips, they were bitter and bland. I didn’t like them at all. This time, I bought the kale and waited almost 2 weeks to use it because I didn’t want to spend the time on something that might not work out. Finally, on a winter, snowy afternoon, I just buckled down and did it. It took a couple of hours, because the kale has to be in a single layer and not all bunched together, so it can dry. I also figured out what I did wrong the first time! I didn’t massage the oil into the kale! This made a huge difference.

In conclusion, it worked and it didn’t work. It worked because they were awesome. It didn’t work because the entire plate piled high with kale chips was gone by the time the kids went to bed, so no new snack in the pantry. I can’t complain, though. I mean my kids devoured approximately a pound of kale in only a couple of hours. That’s success in my book.

So here you go.

Kale Chips

–       2 bunches of kale
–       approximately 4 Tbsp olive oil
–       salt to sprinkle

Wash and dry your kale. Cut out the stems. Tear the kale into medium pieces – chip size. Throw them in a bowl. Drizzle olive oil on top. Massage it into the leaves, gently. Lay in a single layer on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Sprinkle with salt. Bake at 300 F for 8-10 minutes (I did 10 minutes). And repeat. And repeat. And repeat, until all the kale is gone.

Let me know if you try it and if you like it!

Better late than never, right? This week is pretty simple.

Monday: baked flounder, garlic butter rice, stir-fried cabbage

Tuesday: BBQ chicken, GF cornbread (from Jules), and stir-fried bok choy

Wednesday: Grass-fed sirloin steak, sauteed mushrooms, steamed vegetables and mashed potatoes

Thursday: vegetarian pizza (my favorite gluten-free recipe is here)

Who likes a clean house? A show of hands, please. Yeah, I see those hands. I thought so.

I do, too.

I feel like I can breathe better when the house is clean. I can walk through it and really appreciate that everything has a place and it’s so neat and orderly. Even my kids like it. When the house is spotless, these creative geniuses wander from room to room discovering all kinds of things they can pull out and play with. They take the laundry basket when I’m folding laundry and fill it with random toys. They dump the basket of stuffed animals and call it their animal mountain. They carry things from room to room on little missions I may never understand… and it starts all over again.

I see holistic parenting as a scale (not the kind you weigh yourself on – you probably know by now I don’t believe in those). Holistic parenting is a balancing kind of scale, tipping one way and then the other. By definition, holistic means being concerned with the whole more than the individual parts. Parenting, by definition, is the care, love and guidance of a child (or children). It’s really big. A clean house, in comparison, is really small. Throw holistic and parenting together and you get the care, love and guidance of a child that is concerned with the whole, more than the individual parts. When we parent holistically, we are viewing the big picture, the people we want our children to become, the ideals we are putting in place and the love we want them to receive.

It’s really a conundrum. Clean house. Messy house. It’s not like when I clean my house spotless-beautiful-clean the kids just sit in the corner with a book or a piece of paper and a single crayon. No, they pull out toy boxes, they ask to paint, they stack books and call it a castle. When the “castle” falls over, they wander off to another area to make another mess (I mean play). When my house is super, super clean, my kids are told, “Oh, no, Honey, not now. Let’s not mess that up.” Or, “Can’t you see everything is so clean? Let’s do that another time.” Or even the dreaded, “Why don’t you watch a show?” That’s not the parent I want to be. But sometimes it’s the parent I am.

The parent I want to be, the parent I try to be, the parent I sometimes am, is the parent with a messy house. I say yes to painting, yes to book castles, yes to toy boxes, yes to emptying the cupboards and yes to playing every game we own. And when the paintings are finished and drying on the floor, sometimes the dog walks through them and gets paint paw prints all over the floor. When the book castles fall over, sometimes I look the other way and go do something else too. I don’t put everything back every night, not the toys in the toy boxes or the pots and pans in the cupboards because by nighttime I’m ready to spend time with my husband. Sometimes, when I get up in the morning I feel exhausted because I’m staring at a messy house and don’t know where to begin.

Somehow we figure it all out. It’s the scale idea. When it starts to tip too much one way, we adjust and head back in the other direction. On a perfect night, the kids have clean up time with Daddy and pick up the toys while Mommy cleans the kitchen. It can’t be perfect all the time, though. Sometimes Daddy gets home late and bath time happens right after dinner and there’s no time for playing or cleaning up. Sometimes, the play time with Daddy is too fun and too special to interrupt and so we tip back to messy.

Let’s go back to the holistic parenting idea, too. When I look at the big picture, my beautiful children, the people I want them to be, “having a clean house” just isn’t one of the ideals that’s very high up on my list. Love, kindness, gratitude, creativity, generosity and joy… those are the ideals we are working toward. Cultivating those can be messy! But the memories? They’re so worth it.

From my kitchen to yours…. the Meal Plan!

I am not very inspired this week. Perhaps it’s all the good eating we did this weekend? So, I apologize if this week’s meal plan is lacking. It just goes to show that on uninspired weeks, my family still deserves a healthy meal each day! And on these somewhat “easy” weeks, I will often be inspired to make something out of the ordinary in addition to the meal. I’m thinking kale chips and paleo brownies….

Monday: Leftover chicken stew and salad (I don’t have the recipe for this stew yet – brought over by my mother-in-law, but it’s REALLY good!)

Tuesday: Yellowfin tuna, rice, green beans

Wednesday: Beef roast (haven’t decided if I’ll do the dutch oven or the crockpot for this) – adding potatoes, celery, carrots and probably a side salad.

Thursday: Either pasta or pizza! Using spinach, broccoli and goat cheese

Just because you’ve discovered that you (or a loved one) can’t have gluten, doesn’t mean you have to go buy every gluten-free cookbook you can find! You don’t even have to look for just gluten-free recipes. There are a lot of options for gluten-free cooking and with some simple substitutions you can make almost any recipe! (Note: this is for cooking, not baking – that’s a whole ‘nother beast). (This post is going to contain a lot of affiliate links to Amazon’s website, so you can see the products and easily purchase them, if you’re so inclined. Purchasing through this link does not increase cost to you, however, it does provide a small percentage of profit to me, in order for me to continue providing valuable information.)

If you’ve found that you need to go gluten-free, there is still so much food you can eat: rice, millet, quinoa, potatoes, corn, cornmeal, oats (some very sensitive individuals require gluten-free oats), vegetables, fruit, fish, chicken, pork and beef. So much is still available to you! Things that might be confusing are some grains and condiments. For instance, couscous is a popular “healthy grain” used in many recipes, but it contains gluten. Another one that contains gluten is graham (graham flour, graham crackers). When it comes to grains, a quick internet search will help you figure out if it contains gluten. Condiments, however, could very well be the biggest culprit in your refrigerator. So many sauces, dressings and spreads contain gluten. This would be where I would look first. There’s almost always a gluten-free version of your favorite condiment available on your grocery store shelves, especially if your store has a natural or gluten-free section.

Things you think you can’t have: pasta (I LOVE pasta!), bread (I also love bread), cookies, crackers, cereal, breadcrumbs, pancakes and pretzels. Let’s start with pasta. My favorite pasta is from Trader Joe’s. It’s made from organic brown rice and is available in spaghetti, penne, and spiral varieties. It comes in a huge bag that’s only $1.99 (compared to $4 for smaller boxes of other pastas at the grocery store). If you don’t have a Trader Joe’s near you, I’m sorry! My mother-in-law used to get me dozens of bags of pasta when she’d visit because I didn’t have a Trader Joe’s nearby. (I know, I’m lucky!) There are lots of other gluten-free pastas available too, made out of rice, quinoa and corn.

Bread. There are various gluten-free breads, usually in the freezer section (Udi’s and Rudi’s are my favorites), but once you get into it you may find making your own bread is more cost-efficient. The store bought breads usually have coupons you can find on-line and then wait for them to go on sale in order to make it more affordable.

Crackers and Cookies. Gluten-free crackers and cookies are readily available on many store shelves, though you may find baking your own to be tastier. Pamela’s is one brand that I like, but they’re a little dry. Making your own ensures that you get the ingredients you want and the texture you’re craving! Packaged gluten-free products can be a little lacking in the texture department.

Cereal. Cereal is also available gluten-free. I buy organic corn flakes from Trader Joe’s and these organic frosted flakes from Amazon:

Yes, I buy a pack of 6 boxes! With Amazon’s Subscribe & Save, it’s only $19.08! I mention “Subscribe & Save” a lot – for many items you’ll notice 2 prices. The lower price is for “Subscribe & Save”, meaning you subscribe to have this item delivered to you regularly and you save more money on it. You can cancel your orders at any time, so you’re not forced to get anything every three to six months, but it is a great way to save on items you know you’ll use. Try some things out from the store, discover what you like and then scour the internet for deals! Bulk is a great way to go!

Breadcrumbs. I used to make my own breadcrumbs from leftover homemade bread, you know, “when I had time”…., which means not often. Oats are a convenient substitute for breadcrumbs for many things, but not for frying fish or sprinkling on top of a casserole! Thankfully, my mother-in-law has found a wonderful gluten-free breadcrumb mix that works great in crab cakes and meatballs! It’s called Aleia’s and I love it. Who would’ve known you can also buy them on Amazon? (By the way, this price is for a 4-pack.)

Pancakes. Aaah, some of my fondest childhood memories include freshly made apple pancakes. I still get to eat them, though. One of my staples is Pamela’s Pancake Mix. I started using Pamela’s Pancake Mix before I ever went gluten-free because it’s just that good. Not only does it make wonderful pancakes and waffles, but quick breads and cookies as well! It’s on my Subscribe & Save list on Amazon, meaning it gets delivered to me every few months so I’m never without it! (It’s $44.09 for 3 large bags with the Subscribe & Save discount.)

Pretzels. You might not think that pretzels are something you’d miss when you go gluten-free, but then one day someone might be eating them and you’ll really crave them. That’s why I suggest purchasing Glutino pretzels, also from Amazon. I get a case of these about twice a year; they last a long time and they taste great. They are not only gluten-free, but casein and egg-free too! They seem pricey, but if you wait for a sale price and incorporate them into Subscribe & Save, they end up being much less than the store prices. (Currently, the Subscribe & Save price is $38.09 for a case of 12.)

Other gluten-free cooking tips: Once you pick a flour brand that you like, most of your cooking needs will be met. You’ll be able to make mac n cheese, spaghetti and meatballs, crab cakes, casseroles, fried chicken, gravy and more! Just look at the recipe and simply replace any gluten item that it calls for with a gluten-free substitute. It helps if your gluten-free flour is an “all purpose flour” containing xantham gum. The flour I use for basic cooking, quick breads, cookies and cakes is called Better Batter:

For baking, which again, is another subject, I use Jules gluten-free flour (purchased directly from her website) because it makes the best bread products I’ve tasted. If you’re looking for more inspiration, feel free to follow my Pinterest boards which include recipes I’ve tried and love as well as recipes I haven’t tried yet, but am thinking about!

Back to reality, we go. No more random days off and half days off for my husband. All of our mom friends and baby friends are back in the groove and my kitchen is back in its original state as well.

This morning I tried a new recipe for a morning play date and I was really happy with it. If you’ve ever thought of trying some Paleo recipes, start with the desserts, in my opinion! I made an almond flour chocolate chip cookie cake that was slightly sweetened with honey. It tasted like cookie bars and I was very pleased. I substituted pecans for the walnuts (personal preference) and used Honeyville Blanched Almond Flour (affiliate link below) because it has the smoothest texture. It’s expensive, but worth it. Blanched almond flour allows you to make baked goods without the heavy carb fallout and with added protein. If you try it, let me know!

On to the week ahead!

Monday: Baked cod, rice and broccoli

Tuesday: Easy Roast Chicken with potatoes and carrots

Wednesday: My favorite ground beef casserole with veggies and pasta

Thursday: Quinoa Kale Patties and an Herb Chard and Feta Soup (except the store was out of chard so I’m going to try to make this with spinach… wish me luck!)

I also purchased some extra kale to try making kale chips again. I was not happy with my first attempt years ago. Do you have a favorite recipe for kale chips?