A couple of weeks ago, I posted a blog about Making Time for Mommy. It was a post that talked about my kitchen remodel and being a mommy above all else, while wondering if there was a “me” left in there. I received positive feedback on that post and got to thinking… What about Daddy? Again, this post is about my specific circumstances and the Daddy of my children. I hope, with Father’s Day around the corner, it will inspire and uplift.
In Mommy’s world, Daddy is gone for 10-12 hours a day. Mommy does it all: laundry, breakfast, diapers, play dates, errands, lunch, more diapers, more laundry, cleaning, nap times, stories, home school, crafts, dinner, dishes and the packing of lunches for the next day to start all over again. When Daddy walks through that door, Mommy takes his lunch bag, hands him a baby and serves dinner. Mommy wants to collapse on the couch, but Mommy cleans up after dinner, listening to Daddy play with the little ones, their giggling and games echoing in her head. When was the last time I had that one-on-one play time completely devoted to just them? Mommy sighs, clears the dishes, wipes the table, stove, counters and puts the dishes away. When Daddy collapses on the couch after the babies’ bedtime, Mommy starts planning the next day and getting things ready. Mommy’s brain is too tired for TV. Mommy crawls into bed, sets the alarm and passes out.
In Daddy’s world, Daddy is gone for 10-12 hours a day. His commute is almost an hour each day (a quiet time alone that sometimes Mommy envies). Mommy gets it all. Hugs, kisses, laughter, meals together, conversations like only toddlers can have, adventures, play dates, time with other mommy friends, snuggles, and short drives to the library or the grocery store. When Daddy walks through the door, he grabs his baby in his arms and talks to his toddler while trying to change into something more comfortable. He eats his dinner quickly so he can have as much time with them as possible. Sometimes it’s 10 minutes, sometimes an hour. He never takes his phone with him. It stays on the counter so he’s completely focused on his little people. Daddy plays “super heroes” and “flying” games until his arms are sore. Daddy asks all about the babies’ days and hears tales that range from fictional to very serious. He starts bath time and plays with them, speaking in different voices that make them giggle. When Daddy sits on the couch and checks his e-mail while flipping channels, he’s looking for something to help his mind unwind. After Mommy goes to bed, Daddy puts the diapers in the wash, starts the dishwasher, fills up the water bottles, feeds the animals, turns off the lights and locks the doors. Tomorrow it will begin again.
Behind Daddy & Mommy we are friends, lovers, husband and wife; we are an incredible energy healer and a holistic nutritionist, a gardener and a photographer. We are a guitarist and a pianist; we are singers and healers and nature-lovers. We love cooking and researching, writing and reading… We don’t have to get lost behind our most important roles.
In Daddy’s world, Daddy is gone for 10-12 hours a day. His commute is almost an hour each day (a quiet time alone that sometimes Mommy envies). Mommy gets it all. Hugs, kisses, laughter, meals together, conversations like only toddlers can have, adventures, play dates, time with other mommy friends, snuggles, and short drives to the library or the grocery store. When Daddy walks through the door, he grabs his baby in his arms and talks to his toddler while trying to change into something more comfortable. He eats his dinner quickly so he can have as much time with them as possible. Sometimes it’s 10 minutes, sometimes an hour. He never takes his phone with him. It stays on the counter so he’s completely focused on his little people. Daddy plays “super heroes” and “flying” games until his arms are sore. Daddy asks all about the babies’ days and hears tales that range from fictional to very serious. He starts bath time and plays with them, speaking in different voices that make them giggle. When Daddy sits on the couch and checks his e-mail while flipping channels, he’s looking for something to help his mind unwind. After Mommy goes to bed, Daddy puts the diapers in the wash, starts the dishwasher, fills up the water bottles, feeds the animals, turns off the lights and locks the doors. Tomorrow it will begin again.
Behind Daddy & Mommy we are friends, lovers, husband and wife; we are an incredible energy healer and a holistic nutritionist, a gardener and a photographer. We are a guitarist and a pianist; we are singers and healers and nature-lovers. We love cooking and researching, writing and reading… We don’t have to get lost behind our most important roles.
I still remember those first few months after our oldest daughter was born, when Daddy was unemployed and the stress of looking for a job and taking care of a baby who wouldn’t sleep wore us down. I remember how we did everything together with our baby. I remember how grateful we were when he got a job and my long days as Mommy truly began. I remember when I sent him a picture of our daughter with her first food (a half-eaten apple); he replied, “I’m missing everything!” I think about that all the time. How grateful I am that he’s employed. How grateful I am that I can be with our children every day. How long his days are away from his family. How blessed we are to have a home, two cars, healthy children, electricity, fresh water, good food, loving pets and good sleep at night. How “not having much money” means very little when we have “SO MUCH” of what matters. How hard he works. How much he loves us.
Here’s to you Daddy, for all that you do for us and with us, for coming home because you long to be with us, for working hard because you desire to take care of us, for silly voices, for your laughter, for grocery shopping on Sundays so Mommy doesn’t have to do it alone with two kids during the week, for giving our girls their bath, for feeding the pets, for playing with us even when you’re exhausted, for your hugs and kisses, for the all of you that you give us everyday: We See You. We Love You.
Here’s to you Daddy, for all that you do for us and with us, for coming home because you long to be with us, for working hard because you desire to take care of us, for silly voices, for your laughter, for grocery shopping on Sundays so Mommy doesn’t have to do it alone with two kids during the week, for giving our girls their bath, for feeding the pets, for playing with us even when you’re exhausted, for your hugs and kisses, for the all of you that you give us everyday: We See You. We Love You.
I did it! I did it! I redid my kitchen cabinets, with the help of my “sister” and some really long, physically demanding days. (Please view the Slideshow below!) Sanding, sanding, sanding, staining, staining, and polyurethane. New door and drawer pulls and spray painted hinges (saved a lot of money that way!) – that’s how I got it done. This isn’t a step-by-step of how to redo your kitchen, though. You’ll find that all over the internet. This is a play-by-play of how I worked 16+ hours a day on this huge project, while caring for my children, providing meals, comfort and attention. And how we all fell apart.
Shalayne and I had it all planned out. We would sand during nap time after I picked her up from the airport. We would sand after bedtime and then we’d be done sanding. It didn’t work that way. The sanding consumed us. The tiny little grooves and edges were not workable with our electric sanders. Hand sanding was all we could do and it’s all we did for hours, until our finger tips were raw. Then we looked over to see more doors waiting for us. Two whole days of sanding and then some, all day, all evening, and well into the night. All the while, my children are running around being children and needing their Mommy.
I don’t get much time for me. I guess you could count nap time, but I’m still “on”, always listening for a cry or a whimper, looking at the clock, seeing what I can get done while they’re resting. Then there’s bedtime, but I’m so tired by then, how can I do much of anything? I barely check my e-mail, maybe cuddle with my husband and then 9 o’clock rolls around and I’m more than ready to go to sleep. At 5:45 a.m. the next day, it all begins again.
