Author: Theresa_Rosenthal

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Holistic Mothering

  What is holistic mothering?

It can’t be defined as clearly as some things, but it definitely has to do with a holistic mindset. Holistic mothering is as much about being a holistic person as it is about being a holistic parent. It’s nurturing your child’s mind, body and soul while feeding your own. This is no easy task! There are days where there aren’t enough hours or patience, but at the end of those days, if you have grace for yourself and your children, you’ll kiss and makeup and try again tomorrow.

Becoming a mother has taught me more about what I believe the heart of God is. My love for my girls overcomes all things; the hurt feelings, the poor behavior, the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the throwing of toys, the hurting other children….all things. I believe God has that kind of love for me. And now I believe it more. My heart for my children is like nothing I knew I possessed before they came into my life. To protect, honor, respect, cherish, raise, guide, educate, and enjoy…these are just some of my heart’s desires now.

Holistically mothering my 2-year old – letting her paint and repaint her cardboard car we made together, no matter the mess!
Holistic parenting isn’t summed up by attachment parenting, co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, alternative vaccination schedules, cloth diapering, baby led weaning or any combination of these (and other) practices. It’s trying my best every day, no matter what that “best” looks like. We all make choices each day. Holistic mothering is a practice of mindfulness in these choices. I believe my kids are worth me taking the time to be mindful of the choices I make for them and the choices I offer to them. So I try, I try really hard, to take that time, for them.

Holistically mothering my 1-year old – pots and pans, pots and pans!
Speaking of holistic mothering, I am honored to have received a copy of The Mother magazine to review for you all. The Mother magazine is a UK magazine, which offers quirky language differences (that I personally love), education on so many subjects (Montessori, Over-Attachment Parenting, and Vaccination Education, to name a few) and a kinship with parents in general. There are very few advertisements, which I can’t say of many other magazines. Photographs are submitted by readers, so they’re very real, touching and artistic. How often do you feel at peace with yourself as a mother? How often do you read parenting articles and feel better instead of worse about your mothering style? As parenting magazines go, The Mother is inspiring, educational and kind. It would make a wonderful gift to yourself or any mother in your life! We can all use a little more kindness in our lives.
To read more about The Mother, including how to order a subscription or back issues, follow these links:

The Mother magazine www.themothermagazine.co.uk 
Croft House, Glassonby, near Penrith CA10 1DU Cumbria UK  Ph: +44 (0)1768 897 121
North American Publishing office: Contact Kathryn Los  www.themothermagazine.org
NEW! Out of stock issues NOW AVAILABLE as PDFs!: http://www.themothermagazine.co.uk/backissues/index.shtml

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Eating Disorders Defined and Confronted

     Some people hear (or read) the words “Eating Disorders” and they picture an emaciated young woman, starving herself (or purging herself) to a near-death state. Unfortunately, that’s not the only make-up of disordered eating. Sometimes it’s the obsessed dieter or the person who works out all the time with an anxiety that can’t be calmed. Other times, like with myself, it’s a person who looks healthy and eats healthy and is super knowledgeable about nutrition and exercise, but can’t seem to do enough, to feel enough, to be enough in her (or his) own skin.

I’ve asked Cheryl of “Happy is the New Healthy” for permission to reprint her blog post entitled: Food for Thought: Let’s Talk… What an Eating Disorder Looks Like and When to Speak Up. Her words resonated with me deeply and I wanted to share them with you! I look forward to any comments, questions or thoughts you might have.

I want to start things off here with a bit of a story–a snippet of my story, to be specific.

When I look back on the time I spent struggling with my eating disorder, I can think of a few “rock bottom” periods. One of those was Christmas break of my second year at university. I binged and purged nearly every day of the break, sometimes multiple times a day. I worked out for at least an hour, sometimes two, every day over the break–I even remember waking up early on Christmas to get a run on the treadmill in while my family was sleeping.

But I looked “healthy.” I weighed ~160lbs (the same amount as I do now, for the record) and according to my BMI, I was overweight and had weight to lose. According to the voice in my head (Ed was screaming), I needed to lose it–yesterday.

yes, that’s my butt. It was my 20th birthday. forgive me.
I don’t think people looked at me and thought “eating disorder” even though I was totally consumed with exercising, obsessing over what I was eating, bingeing, and purging and then doing it all over again. Like I said, this was one of my rock bottom moments.

My point there is that you really cannot judge an eating disorder book by its cover. Assuming that if someone is struggling, you’ll be able to tell by looking at them is misguided at best. Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes, suck regardless of whether or not they meet “official criteria” or fit into a box of anorexia, bulimia, or EDNOS, and are all serious. I can remember not thinking I had a real problem because I wasn’t skinny enough to meet the criteria and feeling like I had to convince my doctor and the people around me that I was going through something serious–because I didn’t feel like I looked the part.

Even if someone is overweight or obese, if their habits are disordered, that’s the issue–not their weight. It can be easy for someone who is on a weight loss journey to have justifiably f*cked up relationships with food and/or exercise when we are so busy focusing on fixing the weight problem instead of building healthy habits that will therefore lead to a healthy weight. Weight loss at all costs and getting fixated on a number without giving serious consideration to the means by which a person gets to that goal number misses the point. No wonder there are so many weight loss successes who regain all the weight, plus more. No wonder there are so many miserable newly thin people. No wonder eating disorders are everywhere.

Getting your mind sorted out–in terms of how you think about food, about exercise, about your body and about yourself–isn’t the sexy “get in shape fast” or “bikini body by Friday” kind of crap that we’re sold and that it’s so easy to get caught up in, but it is the recipe for long term happiness, health, and sanity. If you have a healthy mindset, you will get to a healthy weight. If you don’t sort this stuff out, you’re doomed to ride the diet and weight loss rollercoaster forever more. If you’re not willing to do the hard work to shift your thoughts and your beliefs, you’ll be just as unhappy regardless of where your weight falls: disordered is disordered, no matter what kind of a package it comes in.

Now that that’s off my chest, I can get to the real reason behind this post: a couple of tough conversations and some thinking about what’s the right thing to do when you’re concerned about someone who may or may not be struggling with disordered eating, whether because of how they look (not the only indication, as I pointed out above) or because of the things they say (regarding food, exercise, their bodies, weight loss, whatever).

Since it’s not easy to tell, this is automatically a touchy subject. It’s also really easy to piss someone off and/or to feed an obsession. If you comment on how small someone obsessed with getting small is getting, even if you mean it out of a “I’m scared for your life” kind of place, it can be a celebration of them achieving their goal and can reinforce their unhealthy habits and thinking. If someone isn’t ready for it, your comment can wreck a relationship.

But it can save a life.

I make my decisions off of this: I stand for health and for happiness. For everyone.  

The conversations I mentioned both touched on the issue of a person not being underweight or looking sick, hence the rant that started this post off.

In response to that and whether or not having that crucial conversation that could save a life is appropriate if someone isn’t visibly disordered or is even overweight, I say it’s not just appropriate, it’s essential.

No one deserves to have an eating disorder. Whether you’re 20lbs overweight or 20lbs underweight or right at that weight that someone or something tells you is ideal, health and happiness require a healthy mindset. I say screw the scale, screw the criteria, screw the ideal. What’s important? What you’re doing, how you’re thinking, and how you’re feeling and functioning. If these things aren’t what you’re focused on making as healthy as possible, something needs to change.

So what do you say to that person? How do you address it without supporting bad behaviours or pissing someone off?

My advice: speak from the heart and be as honest as possible.

The conversation could still go poorly, but what do you give up if you don’t enter the conversation? What are you not honouring if you keep quiet?

If you stand for your friendship, you’ll have that conversation.

If you stand for health and happiness, you’ll have that conversation.

I remember vividly two conversations–one with a friend, and one with my sister–that left me upset. I sometimes wonder if other people who knew what was going on (I don’t think I was hiding it seamlessly) held back for whatever reason–whether because I didn’t look the part or they were scared of making me mad. The conversations that I did may have upset me but they also indicated to me that I mattered and people cared about me. 

The sooner we’re willing to talk about this–and to get busy focusing on a new solution, the better. I’m sick of eating disorders, especially the socially acceptable ones. Let’s get back to what’s important and start taking care of ourselves, regardless of what we weigh. 

have you ever brought up a concern with someone around an eating disorder? how did it go?
has anyone ever brought up a concern with you? what was it like?

     If you want to read more about Cheryl and her Happy is the New Healthy blog, please visit her here: http://happyisthenewhealthy.com/

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Kale Salad Recipe


 

 

If I were in the mood for  poetry, I would write an Ode to Kale, or a Kale Salad Haiku… yes, that’s how much I Love Kale. Do you love kale? Do you hate it? Have you tried it? Have you tried it like this?

This recipe is adapted from a photocopied, scanned recipe e-mailed to me many years ago by a friend who’d made it for dinner one night. My husband and I were immediately hooked. We average one kale salad a week and when we make it we go big! It’s one of those foods that we feel healthier when eating. When we’ve been away for a couple of days and had take-out or less than appealing choices, we come home and make kale salad. It’s that healing.

What if I told you that kale is so full of nutrients your body will thank you for eating it? Vitamins B1, B2, B6, C and E are prevalent in it. It also has significant amounts of carotenes, manganese, calcium, chlorophyll, copper and iron. As a part of the cabbage family, kale has anti-cancer properties. Are you getting how incredible this food is and why it should be a part of your life? I shouldn’t say, “should”… I mean I want you to want it, to try it, to love it, but if you don’t, it’s okay. Life will go on. Throw some in a smoothie every once in a while and continue to enjoy your life.

No matter how healthy I tell you it is, if you haven’t had kale prepared in a delectable way, there will be no convincing you. The first time I saw kale was in a CSA produce box and I tried it raw, I tried it steamed, I tried it sautéed… I hated it. This recipe, while raw, breaks down the kale with the citrus and salt so it is tender and flavorful, not bitter and dry. The seeds add crunch while the avocados make it creamy. I kinda want it right now, but I’m not even hungry!

Try this recipe. Tell me what you think. Tell me it changed your thoughts about kale, please! If you want, tell me it changed your life too!

Recipe for Kale Salad

 

Dressing:
¼ c fresh squeezed lemon juice
¼ c olive oil
¼ c Bragg’s liquid aminos
¼ of a red onion, chopped (or more if you really like onions)

Salad:
2 bunches of kale

Toppings:
2 ripe avocados
1/8 c each: sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds (all toasted)

Make your dressing first. Combine the first three ingredients in a measuring cup and add the onions to it to marinate. Then, start toasting the seeds in a saucepan or frying pan on medium-low (about 8-10 minutes). If they start popping they’re done. While the seeds are toasting, chop the kale, discarding the stems. Throw it in a salad spinner, wash and spin dry.

To assemble, pour the dressing over the kale and massage deeply. Then massage some more. Massage until the leaves are bright green, shiny and reduced in volume. Sprinkle with seeds. Cut up the avocados and place them on top. Serve room temperature or cold. (I like mine chilled first. My husband likes his room temp. To each their own.)

Visual step-by-step (with the help of my husband) follows:


 

Juice the lemon. Do you have a lemon squeezer? If you don’t, don’t let it stop you! We didn’t have one until recently. It makes things a lot easier but it’s not imperative.

 

 

Add the olive oil

 


 

Add the Bragg’s – do you have Bragg’s? Do you know what it is? More on this subject later, but it is found in most grocery stores with a health food section. Check by the ketchup, vinegar, salad dressings and other condiments.

 


 

Chop your red onion. The size of the pieces is really personal preference. When I first had this salad, the onion was in half moons. My husband prefers smaller pieces and I don’t care, so that works!

 


 

Add the onions to the dressing, stir and let sit until you’re ready to assemble your salad.

 


 

Note: amount of pumpkin seeds here is not exact. I ran out. There, I said it. My salad didn’t suffer, but I prefer equal ratios.

 


 

Chop, chop, chop that kale. This is my least favorite part. Maybe you have a super-awesome spouse who will do this part for you!

 


 

Wash and dry that kale! If you don’t have a salad spinner, this is where the recipe would say, “Wash kale and pat dry.” I’ve never actually done this, but the salad spinner is a really useful tool for the kitchen.

 


 

See the volume of kale in our giant mixing bowl? Prepare to be amazed as it shrinks before your very eyes.

 


 

Massage. Massage. Massage. I can’t stress this enough. My husband is really good at this part, thankfully! In fact, he’s really good at making the whole salad himself!

 


 

Top with seeds and avocado and serve!

 

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How to Cook Quinoa (and Why You Should) 

I can’t say enough good things about quinoa. To me, it is a super food, if you’re into things like that. It’s a great alternative to rice or cous cous. You’ll get good amounts of iron, phosphorous, copper and zinc in quinoa. Quinoa is also high in protein, vitamins B2 and E, magnesium and manganese and it’s technically a vegetable. Yes, a vegetable. I know, right? Its seed is actually related to beets, chard and spinach plants.

I use regular quinoa, the beige kind you see most often in stores. There are also other colors like red, purple, orange, pink or black! Let me know if you try any of these and if they taste different. I buy the regular kind because it’s found in bulk and if you’re on a budget, like we are, bulk is cheaper!

I should probably mention it’s gluten-free, though that’s a given in our home. I cook it for my family about once a week. I store about eight cups in a sealed container in the pantry and the rest I keep in the fridge or freezer. Do you keep your grains refrigerated or frozen? They stay fresher longer this way, just so you know. I tend to keep containers in the pantry for easy access but only about a month’s worth. The rest is kept sealed in bags in the freezer.

Cooking is simple. Quinoa requires a 1:2 ratio, that is one cup of quinoa to two cups of water; or two cups of quinoa to four cups of water. I usually make two cups at a time. Leftovers are easy to use in a casserole (try this one!) or pizza bites (thank you, Pinterest!) or quinoa-kale patties. I often freeze the leftovers for use in quick recipes later on. Mix your quinoa and water in a small pot, bring to boil, cover and simmer for 20 minutes. The rest is just details… like adding a squeeze of lemon, a pinch of each: salt, pepper, sugar and a pat of butter for extra flavor. Adding minced or powdered garlic is a favorite here too. Once you make the regular quinoa, you’ll find you can do so much with it!

My go-to supplies for making quinoa: lemon, salt, pepper and sugar

 


 

The finished product with a pat of butter and a few sprinkles of garlic powder. It’s hot, light and fluffy!

 

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Healing Yourself by Rewriting Your Story

     I’m a carefree woman. I love to laugh, sing, eat, play, cook, dance and make memories. I haven’t always been this person, though. And while I love my life, I have deep sadness for what I have been through.

Can I tell you a piece of my story? Without boring you with the year-by-year play-by-play, I’ll sum it up like this: From the time I was a teenager I had hang-ups about my weight. Not so strange for a teenager, you say. Not so weird for a girl, especially, right? It only got worse. Those hang-ups became motivating factors for these games I would play with myself; games that ultimately would lead me to lose weight (ah, the end justifies the means…). Whether calorie-counting, exercise-purging, starvation or other neurotic eating habits, I mastered the latest obsession with my Type-A personality and perfectionism by my side. I’ve been 98 pounds as an adult. I’ve also been 150 pounds as an adult. My roller coaster consumed me. My control soothed me. Can you relate? I promise you: dieting is not your friend.

I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that I’m not her anymore. What a relief! My sense of self was completely wrapped up in my weight, my looks, my size. How much energy I wasted on controlling my every move, bite, calorie and pound! Now, things are different and I’m thankful every day for the freedom I experience. I don’t own a scale. I am not concerned with the size of my clothes. I don’t count calories or fat grams or carbohydrates. I don’t restrict anything! I don’t work out like my life depends on it. In fact, I don’t work out at all. That sounds like too much work to me. I’m thin, active, healthy and vibrant. I’m living, not striving.

I wish I could give you a formula for what changed, but I can’t. It’s different for everyone, although I’ve pin-pointed a few key factors. I’ve learned how to eat intuitively. What I want. When I want it. I’ve learned to not eat if I’m not hungry. I’ve learned which foods agree with me and make me feel my best and which don’t serve me well at all. I’ve learned to find purpose and meaning in things far more incredible than food, weight, weight-loss and exercise. Sound good? Please, contact me if you want to know more. My program is unique, life changing and empowering. Honest.

All of this would mean nothing if I hadn’t learned the power of a story. My story. Stories others tell about me. Stories the world tells about beauty, women, sex-appeal and love. Stories are everything. If you think about it, really think about it, everything you believe is a story. What stories revolve around you, your health, your life, your purpose, your worth and your beauty? Think of facts that you know to be facts and then ask yourself how you know them to be true… it’s mind-boggling. Using narratives in healing is a way of looking inside a person to find out what their body and mind think about their illness, health, and life. Stories run deep in our body’s cellular understanding, so it makes sense that we would be operating under the rules that our particular narrative is providing for us in any given situation.

In order to experience these transformations, I had to experience deep healing. Healing is really a way of viewing a situation from a larger perspective that allows for growth where once we saw only stagnation, illness, disease, or death. When I refer to healing, I am not talking about a miraculous recovery from a disease, though this is possible; nor am I speaking about a cure. I am referring instead to the delicate balance of appreciation for life, living life to the fullest, and considering one’s purpose, as well as the purpose of whatever challenge one is facing. Change and healing lead to transformation and are journeys, not destinations. They are processes of growth to aid us in living lives of quality and depth. Change is never permanent and healing is not a cure. With these concepts in mind, consider how much hope is restored when we are no longer looking for a specific outcome but are focused on the power of the process, knowing that healing is inevitable.

Change asks us to aim for the healing, not the cure, to live for the journey, not the elusive destination. There is a huge difference between healing and cures, journeys and destinations; it is an issue of quality. Taking a journey can be likened to an adventure, one that is filled with mystery and purpose. Change is such a journey.

I’d love to hear about the changes you want to experience, the journeys you want to take. I’ll also be thinking about the changes I am trying to embody myself; changes that will redefine who I am and how I live. I love how endless the possibilities are, don’t you?