Can I tell you a piece of my story? Without boring you with the year-by-year play-by-play, I’ll sum it up like this: From the time I was a teenager I had hang-ups about my weight. Not so strange for a teenager, you say. Not so weird for a girl, especially, right? It only got worse. Those hang-ups became motivating factors for these games I would play with myself; games that ultimately would lead me to lose weight (ah, the end justifies the means…). Whether calorie-counting, exercise-purging, starvation or other neurotic eating habits, I mastered the latest obsession with my Type-A personality and perfectionism by my side. I’ve been 98 pounds as an adult. I’ve also been 150 pounds as an adult. My roller coaster consumed me. My control soothed me. Can you relate? I promise you: dieting is not your friend.
I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that I’m not her anymore. What a relief! My sense of self was completely wrapped up in my weight, my looks, my size. How much energy I wasted on controlling my every move, bite, calorie and pound! Now, things are different and I’m thankful every day for the freedom I experience. I don’t own a scale. I am not concerned with the size of my clothes. I don’t count calories or fat grams or carbohydrates. I don’t restrict anything! I don’t work out like my life depends on it. In fact, I don’t work out at all. That sounds like too much work to me. I’m thin, active, healthy and vibrant. I’m living, not striving.
I wish I could give you a formula for what changed, but I can’t. It’s different for everyone, although I’ve pin-pointed a few key factors. I’ve learned how to eat intuitively. What I want. When I want it. I’ve learned to not eat if I’m not hungry. I’ve learned which foods agree with me and make me feel my best and which don’t serve me well at all. I’ve learned to find purpose and meaning in things far more incredible than food, weight, weight-loss and exercise. Sound good? Please, contact me if you want to know more. My program is unique, life changing and empowering. Honest.
In order to experience these transformations, I had to experience deep healing. Healing is really a way of viewing a situation from a larger perspective that allows for growth where once we saw only stagnation, illness, disease, or death. When I refer to healing, I am not talking about a miraculous recovery from a disease, though this is possible; nor am I speaking about a cure. I am referring instead to the delicate balance of appreciation for life, living life to the fullest, and considering one’s purpose, as well as the purpose of whatever challenge one is facing. Change and healing lead to transformation and are journeys, not destinations. They are processes of growth to aid us in living lives of quality and depth. Change is never permanent and healing is not a cure. With these concepts in mind, consider how much hope is restored when we are no longer looking for a specific outcome but are focused on the power of the process, knowing that healing is inevitable.
Change asks us to aim for the healing, not the cure, to live for the journey, not the elusive destination. There is a huge difference between healing and cures, journeys and destinations; it is an issue of quality. Taking a journey can be likened to an adventure, one that is filled with mystery and purpose. Change is such a journey.
I’d love to hear about the changes you want to experience, the journeys you want to take. I’ll also be thinking about the changes I am trying to embody myself; changes that will redefine who I am and how I live. I love how endless the possibilities are, don’t you?
