I’m running. The sun is starting to rise, I can just make out all the silhouettes of the trees in our forest lined neighborhood. The sky is a dusky blue and pale pink and the temperature is a comfortable 42 degrees.
It’s just after 7 in the morning and I check my watch to see that I’ve almost ran 3.5 miles. That’s good, right? I mean, no one could blame me for turning left into my driveway right now instead of running past it to get to a solid 4 miles this morning.
I keep going straight though. Why? Like I said, no one would say anything negative about a 3.5 mile run. They’d probably say, “That’s so awesome you did that!” or “I don’t even run at all so good on you.”
But I’m not doing it for them and I know myself better. I know I can make it to 4 miles. In fact, that was my goal in 2023, to get over my 3 mile hump and make it to 4 miles (as well as get under a 10 minute mile when I was closer to 11 minutes per mile). I reached both of those goals very, very slowly throughout the year. I struggle more with speed in the summer when it’s hot and I struggle with distance regularly because I got my 30 minutes of exercise and I can go home now…
It’s really easy to talk ourselves into doing less when we compare it with what other people are doing. Whether they’re doing more than us and we feel inferior or they’re doing less than us so we’re already superior, comparison is the catalyst. The same goes for the tug in my spirit to make changes or talk to someone or pray for something specific. No one could blame me for dismissing the urge or the thought. There are so many reasons for bypassing it completely and so many distractions eager to oblige.
But I know myself better. I’m not living life for other people and I certainly don’t want to look back and say, “Well, I could’ve done more but I was really busy (or distracted or worried or concerned about what others would think).” No. When I am staring into the eyes of God Himself, I will wish I’d done more. Just like when I come home from a run that I willingly cut short, I wish I’d gone the extra half mile. Because I knew I could. I knew it then and I know it now. I could always do more and what I can do has nothing to do with what anyone else does.
Help me do the more now, God. I don’t want to regret it later.
Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. Galatians 6:4
I find myself desperate for more pictures, videos, or memories of my dad. I can’t create any new memories and so I search for the old. I have a hard drive of photos and videos that got fried and I’ve been searching for someone to fix it because Dad might be in there. In fact, I know he is. I made a mug with pictures of him on it so he could go places with me (the quality was disappointing but the pictures are still Dad). The wallpaper on my phone is a picture of him and I together. His smile reminds me that he lived, he loved, and he was loved.
I still can’t quite get my head around his death. Grief is a part of my everyday. I don’t look for reasons to be sad about it, I just know it is. He’s gone and my brain doesn’t recognize that story.
Henri Nouwen said, “We celebrate their life and death. We think about them every day. We have their pictures on the wall… They continue to send their spirit and their love to me. They continue to tell me what life is about. The more I hold on to their memories, the more active they are in my heart and in my life. I need them to help me live my life just as they needed me when they were with me. They continue to teach me something about who I am and where I am going and to Whom I belong.” (From Spiritual Formation: Following the Movements of the Spirit)
This quote comforted me so much, reminding me of the “cloud of witnesses” that surrounds us all. I know dad is in that cloud and I wonder who else is there as well? How much do they get to see?
Until I can figure out how to get my fried hard drive working and recover more of my dad memories, I decided to share some memories he shared with us about his time in Vietnam. He had a photo album from his time in Vietnam and my husband made the valid and wise point that one day there would just be this album and if we didn’t know what the pictures were about, we would be missing a piece of history. Together, we went through the pictures, letting him make the captions for them.
Maybe you know or knew someone who was in Vietnam. Maybe they would enjoy this peek into history. My dad was in the United States Air Force and served in Vietnam doing radio communication. The pictures are from Vi Thanh, South Vietnam IV Corps MACV (Military Assistance Command Vietnam) from 1968. These are some pictures he took and his own commentary on them.
I can still see him sitting on the couch by the window typing out his captions for the photos, a glass of red wine on the windowsill, chuckling to himself. When I read these words, I can hear his voice trying to add details verbally that I insisted he type instead. His sense of humor and sarcasm are evident in so many of the captions.
He lived. He loved. His life has value. So does yours.
Army Spec.4 radio operator Gary Pike. Standing beside a VC flag. 1968. Unnamed Army personnel on left and Spec. 4 Gary Pike in U.S. Army radio room. U.S. Army personnel on left and Vietnamese personnel on right. U.S. Army Pfc radio operator. U.S. Army personnel relaxing in his Hooch(living quarters). Left to right(Staff Sgt Howard-Airman E3 Torba- Sgt E4 Singleton-Maj. Pyle (FAC Forward Air Controller pilot.) Visiting USO entertainers. Co(unmarried female)compound worker. unknown Vietnamese woman walking with parasol in traditional dress of Ao Dai. Sgt E4 Wolfang (Bob) Becker A1E Birddog crew chief. Sgt E4 Garry D. Singleton(radio operator) Sgt E4 Thomas (Intelligence Personnel) L-R man and woman on left are USO entertaining personnel-man on right is U.S. Army personnel. USO personnel entertaining. More USO entertainment. Sgt Singleton and Sgt Thomas entertaining the photographer. Sgt Singleton in the USAF radio room. No shirt indicates warm environment. Sgt Becker and Airman Torba relieving stress at the expense of one of the compound Co’s. U.S. Army radio operator. Unknown Army personnel from Army Engineers unit. Man on right is a Sgt E6.
Man on left is in civilian clothes-in uniform he was a Army recon aircraft crew chief-in civilian life he was corporate jet pilot. USO personnel and U.S. Army personnel on right. Another of the Co’s (unmarried women) who worked in the compound. (A married woman was addressed as Ba) The devious duo-crew chief’s Sgt Becker and Airman Torba. L-R Airman 2nd John Harper(Intelligence) middle Army Spec4 Gary Pike-far right Sgt Thomas(Intelligence)USAF. L-R Army Spec.4 Gary Pike radio operator and unnamed army E7. USO personnel and army volunteer. On the left is a container called a connex for storage-behind the connex is sand bagged bunker-the jeep is a specifically constructed Mark105(MK105)communications vehicle(containing VHF-UHF-FM-HF radios with a whip antenna). The tower was for communications as well night time guard duty(it was quite a climb in the dark at 2am to 5am). Sgt. E4 Garry D. Singleton radio operator USAF. Background to the left the aforementioned comms tower. Army Spec.4 Gary Pike radio operator. Ssgt. Howard USAF ranking communications NCO(non-commissioned officer). Another Co who worked in the compound. To the left Airman 2nd Harper (Intelligence); to the right Maj. Pyle ranking FAC (forward air controller). Aircraft is an A1E birddog used for recon and directing airstrikes. The barrels in background are 55 gal. double stacked for protection from incoming mortar or recoilless rifle shells. Unknown Vietnamese army personnel in their comms. room. Vi Thanh airstrip with jeeps and Hueys(helicopters) during a division operation. Area surrounding Vi Thanh airstrip with barrels to protect from incoming rounds-large hose for refueling Hueys. Vi Thanh air terminal in background and Vietnamese military and jeeps in foreground.
Huey helicopter making a delivery with young Vietnamese girls trying to sell some fruit slices and rice rolls wrapped in bamboo. More offloading of supplies from Huey.
Vietnamese comms. center. Another view of the Vietnamese comms center. U.S. Army Chinook helicopter lifting a damaged Huey helicopter for transport for repairs. Chinook lifting Huey off Vi Thanh airstrip. U.S. Army single engine recon aircraft foreground. Chinook above tail of recon aircraft in background with numerous other military during division operation. Huey helicopter lifting off during division operation. Distant view of USAF C123 making approach to Vi Thanh airstrip. Huey crew off loading and on loading materiel. One of the 2 O1E birddog recon aircraft that Maj. Pyle would use to search for VC(Viet Cong) activity from the air. One of the birddogs that tried to take off too soon after a C123 had taken off previously and was flipped due to the C123s backwash. Crew chief Bob Becker assessing the damage to the O1E that was flipped due to C123s backwash. Crew chief Torba securing the engine coweling on one the O1Es prior to takeoff. 2 unknown Vietnamese on the right and not sure who is piloting or who is in the back seat. C123 off loading cargo. Hueys in background awaiting orders during division operation. Tail of C123 on left and another C123 taking off in background. C123s would roll large rubber bladders containing fuel for Hueys during a operation. Air America aircraft taking off from Vi Thanh airstrip. Air America was alluded to be a CIA(Central Intelligence Agency) operation. Air America aircraft taxing. Spec.4 Pike standing in front of an APC(Armored Personnel Carrier). Don’t know the status of the engine or other mechanical parts to the right. Outside view of the inside of the compound-numerous bunkers surrounded by double stacked 55gallon barrels filled with sand for protection from incoming rounds. The MK105 communications jeep. Another C123 taxiing. Buddhist Pagoda across the water. Unknown Vietnamese soldier on left with military truck in background inside the compound. Unknown Army personnel inside Army comm center. 2 Co s who worked in the compound. Co Mai on the left and unknown Co on the right. View of some of the civilian housing of Vi Thanh. View looking out from the Vi Thanh airstrip. Vietnamese family navigating the river in their sampan. Vietnamese girl who was always hoping to sell some of her coconut-pineapple-rice products during operations at the airstrip. Airman 2nd Trageser with another of the cute Vietnamese girls selling food at the airstrip. Vietnamese women on the dirt streets of Vi Thanh. Vietnamese girl vendor at airstrip. Vietnamese rice field worker. Assuming from the cross the structure is Catholic but never heard. View of unknown river that flowed thru Vi Thanh. Vietnamese women walking one of the streets in Vi Thanh. Another picture of one the girl vendors at the airstrip. Crew chiefs Airman Torba on the left and Sgt. Becker on the right assessing the damage to the O1E birddog that was flipped after hitting the backwash from a C123 that had taken off. Vietnamese Navy river gun boat. Assorted river craft. Army engineers caterpillar that didn’t make it across bridge. Sampans and other water craft on the river. Another view of the Vietnamese gunboat. Another river view. Lots of river gun boats. Another view of a gun boat. Cutting up a down tree on side of the river with gun boat in background. Aerial view of Binh Thuy airfield. Binh Thuy was near the city of Can Tho. Storage structures along the river in Vi Thanh. Aerial view of Binh Thuy airfield with a Chinook on the lower left. Aerial view of the river with Vietnamese storage structures on the left. Vietnamese building in Vi Thanh with roof damage from mortar attack. Aerial view of the river and Vi Thanh surroundings. Aerial view of Vietnam approaching Binh Thuy airfield from Vi Thanh. Aerial view from one of the O1E birddogs. Sgt. Singleton playing ping pong. Man on left and blonde woman were part of a USO group that were performing the day Sgt. Singleton was about to medevacd to Army infirmary for a week for food poisoning. Sgt. Singleton is in the bed. Vietnamese Co s doing their chores in the compound. Sgt. Singleton visiting with the compound Co s. Co s taking a break. Army guy-I remember him but not his name. Army guys I remember but not their names. Vietnamese compound worker.
I don’t remember much about moving to California from New York. I was in kindergarten, sharing the back of a station wagon with my older brother. In the back of the gray Datsun B210, I did all the school work my teachers gave me and sometimes convinced my brother to play Barbies with me. Our family rented a house in Fremont before eventually moving to Tracy and buying our own home. When the moving truck drove away and all was unpacked, my training wheel was missing. We had one, just not the other.
“It must have been left on the truck,” my dad said.
I learned to ride my bike leaning to the side that had the training wheel, which only made learning to ride without training wheels harder. I kept leaning and leaning, falling over, scared of falling over.
“You’ve got to overcompensate for that now,” my dad said. He held onto the back of the bike and let go, over and over. “Find your balance.”
I would slam my feet down in fear and frustration, scared to lean too far in either direction. I knew I’d fall. I couldn’t find my balance.
I don’t remember the details of moving to what would be my main childhood home in Tracy, California. I knew I was getting a cat and starting second grade. It was all blurry. I knew how to ride a bike by then and had moved on to roller skates.
I remember moving away from home to go to college, moving back in when college “didn’t work out”, moving out to live with someone else, moving back in when things unraveled, moving out to my own place, to rent a room somewhere else, to live with a boyfriend, to get a roommate in an apartment, and moving back in whenever it all fell apart.
When my parents moved out of state and into retirement in Arkansas, the safety net of my “home” was ripped out from under me. I had to overcompensate for my lean. I leaned into my own abilities, my responsibilities, my strength and I accomplished great things always knowing I couldn’t lean the other direction anymore. I might fall. Fear and frustration pushed me forward.
Moving to Virginia with my new husband and my very pregnant belly is a moving day I’ll never forget. My dad and I drove from Missouri to Virginia while my husband and his brother made the longer drive together in our car with our pets. We arrived at the empty small home we were renting until we would buy our first home, living out of suitcases and sleeping on air mattresses until our moving truck arrived.
I don’t think anything got left on the truck that day. I think we learned to double check. At the far back of the truck was my childhood piano. My dad, my husband, and our friend helped push that piano up the length of the truck, down the ramp, and eventually up the hill to the side door and into the house. It took so long. It was so heavy. I was too pregnant and banned from helping.
When everything was unloaded and the unpacking began, my dad made his plans for the return trip to Missouri. I didn’t want him to go. I kept making plans. “Let’s go to a store and get some good food to cook and send you off with a great meal!” “Let’s check out that coffee shop one more time.” I wasn’t done leaning on him, his strength, his stability, the way he made everything okay. Until finally, he drove off one morning for his long drive home.
Starting my “real life” as a wife and mother in a new state, new home, new everything was an adventure, often lonely, often filled with anxiety. I began wanting my parents closer. Their visits twice a year weren’t enough time to spend together, to get to know their granddaughters and eventually their grandson. I wanted their home to be near my home and for “home” to include us all.
Many years later, they made that move all the way to Virginia from Missouri and it felt like a true homecoming. I welcomed them with excitement and joy, determined to help make everything work out. Dad’s body was in pain from cancer spreading throughout it and they left almost everything behind to make the trip easier. It would all work out. I leaned in. I leaned hard. I didn’t care if I fell.
When Dad died only 6 weeks later, suddenly, unexpectedly, and tragically, the funeral home came to move his body. I sent the kids to the neighbor’s house, not wanting them to remember him that way, not ready to tell them he was gone. Surrounded by my husband, mom, brother, and two close family friends, we watched them wheel his body down the hall, down the sidewalk, down the driveway and into the car. I would not look away. I would not let his move go unwitnessed. I leaned in, into the frustration, the fear, and the pain.
In the coming weeks we moved mom into the home they’d purchased together. We heaved boxes with his handwriting on them. We set aside the files he had so carefully labeled. We moved the items he had packed for this move-in day that he wasn’t present for. And it hurt.
We are approaching another moving day now. My mom has bought a house around the corner from us, so close and such a blessing for us all. This moving day is exciting, it’s sad, it’s bittersweet doing it all without him. I can feel him holding on to the back of me and saying, “You’ve got to overcompensate for that lean. Find the balance.”
Balance has never been my strong point. With vision in one eye, my head perpetually tilted to one side, leaning always one way or the other, and zero depth perception, I physically find balancing nearly impossible. In my heart, I struggle with balance as well, swinging widely like a pendulum across the spectrum of emotions (excitement, disappointment, grief, celebration, sadness, hope, hopelessness). I lean one way. I lean the other. I wobble around, unsteady and unsure. But I’d rather continue on unsteady feet than push against the waves of feelings that wash over me, fighting against them with fear and frustration, stamping my feet down to stop any forward motion. I would rather overcompensate repeatedly, feeling all the feelings and knowing the depths of my own pain and the heights of my own joy.
Dad was so brave, so strong in his faith. When it became clear that his heart was failing and he would not recover from the blood loss he was experiencing, he said, “I’m not afraid. I know where I’m going.” He walked such a strong, stable, steady road of faith, loyalty and responsibility. I, meanwhile, am wobbling behind him leaning one way and then the other, but I’m starting to figure this thing out. He lent me his faith on his deathbed and I have leaned on it like the only existing training wheel we could find after unpacking the grief, the busy-ness that comes with death, the funeral, the paperwork, and the memories. Taking the training wheel of his faith off, I put it on a shelf of cherished memories and learn to move forward slowly and even with excitement at times. Mostly, though, I’m tired and it still hurts.
He knew where he was going. He wasn’t scared. I didn’t want him to go. I leaned one way. I was determined to make it all work out. I leaned another way. I would fix him. I leaned forward, willing it all to be okay. I told him to lean on me. And then it was over. And he was gone. He let go and I wobbled off down the road knowing that stopping wasn’t an option. I’m getting the hang of it now, continuing forward knowing he’s behind me, finding my balance even as I lean too far one way and then the other. I know where I’m going now. I’m not scared.
Have you heard of the Nerva app? Maybe you’ve seen the ads popping up while scrolling Instagram? I did. And I clicked on it. And I read about it and thought about it and one day, after a frustrating week of tummy troubles, I took the free 2-week-trial plunge. Here is my Nerva Hypnotherapy for IBS and Gut Relief review.
The Nerva App is an app designed to use hypnotherapy as a healing tool for IBS symptoms. The types of symptoms Nerva can help with are bowel movements, reflux, abdominal pain, gas, and nausea, among others. Finding medications that will work for these types of symptoms that come and go sporadically, is nearly impossible. When you realize that the chances of any number of IBS medications working are very low while the chances of hypnotherapy working are in the 80% range, it seems like a no-brainer. Also, Nerva was designed by a Psychophysiologist who is also a Gut-Directed Hypnotherapist, Dr. Simone Peters. Also, on the medical board is Dr. Michael Yapko, a clinical psychologist and hypnotherapy expert.
Why I Tried Nerva
I think Nerva caught my eye because the ad said you may be able to stop eating a restricted diet after using their app. When I look at all the foods I’ve removed from my diet, it’s staggering. I have stopped eating black pepper, garlic, ginger, and so many more foods because I tested as sensitive to them on my MRT test. (Read more here.) I have been more than diligent at keeping these foods out of my diet and yet I haven’t seen the improvement I would like. I now know, thanks to further testing, that I also have Lyme Disease which can further disrupt digestive functioning. I am not at the treatment part for Lyme Disease, so I figured I could try Nerva for a couple of weeks and see if it would help improve regularity and consistency – my 2 biggest complaints.
I believe in hypnotherapy. I used HypnoBabies for my third birth and the nurse exclaimed that she’d never seen a more relaxed laboring mother, ever! (Birth story here.) I would listen to the recordings in bed at night, drifting off to the suggestions and words as they imprinted on my brain. I definitely stayed relaxed during birth, so much so that I really just wanted to go to sleep instead of actually work to get my baby out! So I was already a believer, clearly. Because of this, I decided to give Nerva a try.
I have tracked my digestion for the last seven months. When I looked back at my habit trackers, I was surprised how long I’ve been tracking. I must have started to see how eliminating foods was helping and then I just kept doing it, frustrated by the inconsistency. You may have different goals than mine, but the most important thing digestively, for me, is daily movement. Motility became a huge issue as I worked to heal from SIBO. Keeping my bowels moving regularly is key to preventing a recurrence of SIBO. This was going well, according to my charts, but a discouraging cycle began that reminded me of the days before I was diagnosed with SIBO. The cycle would be regular, less regular, then nonexistent followed by urgent, loose, and painful. I basically always knew that if I didn’t have a bowel movement one day, the next day was going to be painful. Add to this the typical emotional and psychological triggers: anxiety, stress, nerves and I was at a loss.
Nerva is an expert at understanding the gut-brain connection and using that knowledge to help people heal. I jumped into my 2-week free trial and committed to the sessions every day. Here’s what I experienced:
What to Expect from Nerva
Every day there is a reading assignment. It’s pretty short; about the length of a short article and very easy to read. I knew a lot already and basically skimmed.
After reading, there is a “short, 15-minute hypnotherapy session”. They’re actually 18-19 minutes long. I hate to be a stickler, but for someone who struggles with sitting still, there is a big difference between “15 minutes a day” and a reading assignment plus a 19-minute hypnotherapy session. That’s 20+ minutes! This bothered me for awhile. I try to carve out time for everything I find important: exercise, food prep, daily devotionals, reading, writing, etc., and when I add one more thing, I have to know it’s doable so that I don’t set myself up for failure.
Also, the woman with the British (?) accent who conducts the hypnotherapy is very soothing, but sometimes I wished I could choose different voices, just to shake it up a little. Sometimes, her voice would drop out at the end of words so “face” would sound like “fay” or “reflux” would sound like “refluh”. My brain kind of trips over things like this and focuses on them instead of the session.
Okay, enough of my nit-picking. My review of Nerva is that is completely worth trying because I definitely have seen results, so much so that I signed up for a year. I will say it’s annoying that there’s only a 1-year plan and not a 3-month plan or a 6-month plan. I hate paying so much money ($149) up front for something I may not need for an entire year, but that’s the model. (I happened to see a Black Friday 40% off ad for Nerva on Instagram, so I wrote the company and they honored that for me, refunding me 40% of what I paid. That is honorable and I appreciated the refund greatly!)
I had more “perfect” days in the one week than I had in the 7 months I tracked my digestion prior to using Nerva. That’s probably more than I’ve had in the almost 4 years since I have had to treat SIBO. Maybe even longer. Honestly, that alone is worth the money.
Should You Do It?
Should you do it? I suggest you look for the ads and try to find a deal like I did to save money, but also that you give the 2-week free trial a chance. It may not be for you and better to find out for free then to wonder, right? I will say, my “perfect” days didn’t actually start until the very end of the free trial, but it encouraged me to keep going. Every time I listen to a session, I know my brain is storing away these carefully crafted messages to reprogram the way my mind and gut communicate and operate.
If you’re going to try Nerva, make sure you commit to it daily. I did my sessions after lunch. Some people prefer mornings and evenings. I stopped laying down because I’d fall asleep – just FYI.
Also, and I’ve said this to clients over the years, it’s hard to know you’re making improvements if you aren’t truly clear on where you stand beforehand. It’s a good idea to make a chart for yourself. Open a Notes file on your phone or grab a notepad or a calendar page printed off. Create your own key for what your days could look like. Here are some ideas: F = Formed, S = Soft, P = Perfect, N = Nothing, D = Diarrhea, L = Loose, C = Cramps, U = Urgent. If you can see clearly what is currently happening with your digestion, you’ll be able to truly see if Nerva has been able to help you. If you struggle with reflux (R = Reflux) or painful gas (G = Gas), you can track those things too. When you take the assessment on the Nerva app or website, you’ll be able to pinpoint the digestion issues that are most important to you and these key words and ideas will be focused on during the hypnotherapy sessions. It’s kind of genius actually!
After about 3 months of consistent Nerva use, my digestion reached a steady state and I had more “P’s” on my tracker than ever in my life (?)! I eventually stopped using it and canceled the renewal when it arrived. I really appreciate what Nerva did for me. I don’t think you should have to pay for a whole year to have longer than 2 weeks. I wish, after paying that much money, I could have access to the recordings in case my brain needs a reminder… but no complaints will change the fact that Nerva pushed my health to the next level and I am so grateful for that.
Also, in doing some research for this blog, I see they have an app for mental health. I’m fan-girling over here a little bit. I’m all about food, health, digestion, and mental health. Maybe I’ll try that one next year! As for you and your gut health goals, I wish there was a referral code I could offer you, but they don’t have that yet… try it out, give it your all, and track those symptoms to get the most out of it.
So, here we go again I guess. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve typed anything or considered updating my blog. I actually thought about canceling it but I know people visit when searching information on Young Living Oils being gluten-free, or MTHFR protocols, candida, anxiety, and more, so I haven’t.
I’m writing because I’m entering a whole new chapter, with two new diagnoses that may actually account for some (all?) of the last 6 years of struggles I’ve had. Yesterday, my blood work came back with me having Lyme Disease and EBV (Epstein Barr Virus). At first I was unsurprised, then I was shocked; eventually I became nauseous and uncertain what this would mean.
If you happened to follow my H. Pylori journey, you know treatment was awful. There were times I didn’t want to be alive. I almost went to the hospital twice. It was a nightmare and I have no desire to relive it or repeat it.
Treating SIBO was long-lasting and in some ways continues to this day. My body (all bodies) is (are) so complex and confusing, just when I think I have things figured out, it changes. Sometimes I can eat things and other times I can’t. How unfair is that?
Last year, I was feeling bad again, burning stomach, nauseous, and struggling with digestion, so I pursued a holistic nutritionist that I knew could run the tests I wanted, tests I wasn’t trained to interpret. I hadn’t trained under Restorative Wellness Solutions yet and I wanted a practitioner who had so I searched in their Find a Practitioner section. Please do the same if you’re looking for someone to help you decipher the mysterious messages your gut is sending you, or if you just want to figure out once and for all what foods don’t work for your body and any supplements you may need to feel better. I settled on Kimberly Rovin who was a pleasure to work with (100% virtually) and I highly recommend her if you’re wanting to go down a similar path of exploration. We talked, ordered the tests (MRT and GI Map) and said we’d reconnect after the results were in.
Then my dad died.
Everything was on hold, forever in limbo. My brain couldn’t comprehend how to move forward and I couldn’t hold thoughts in my mind long enough to act on them. After New Year, I decided I needed to actually do the tests the nutritionist sent me and I geared up everything I had to follow through. Following through was not my strong point at this time, but I did it. Stool sample and blood test sent off and awaiting results.
I learned a lot from those test results. My gut was actually in pretty good shape, which surprised me considering the symptoms I was having. I had a small deficit that can be filled in with calcium-d-glucarate (something I never would have taken or know to take had I not done the GI Map). I got started on some enzymes that are perfect for me. I take one with each meal and I take gut healing herbs. All have worked beautifully. The MRT was consistent in that it showed me as highly allergic to gluten, which I knew, and to soy, which I suspected. It was the list of yellow foods that threw me.
The yellow foods are the ones that I needed to eliminate and then gradually add back in. The problem is every time I’ve tried to add them back in, I’ve gotten sick! it’s miserable! I figure, okay, I can live without corn and peanuts, they’re supposedly terrible for you anyway, but ginger? Garlic? Paprika? Tapioca – I mean the cornerstone of a paleo diet, and I can’t cook with cassava. Super disappointing. And sunflower. Sunflower lecithin is in everything from supplements to almond milk.
MRT Results
I embraced all the changes and disappointments. I’m pretty resourceful. I put straight canned coconut milk in my coffee now instead of almond milk or almond creamer. Corn was probably the hardest to give up, what with my love and reliance on popcorn… Those smaller, insignificant foods are irritating, though, and irritations can build. My frustration continued to rise when every time I tried to add a food back in, I became sick, usually for an entire day.
I had some other symptoms happening as well and decided I needed a full workup, see a regular doctor, get my annual blood draw, check my thyroid, you know, maintenance. Well, that doctor was not for me. I could say worse things, but it doesn’t seem fair. Maybe she’s the perfect doctor for someone else! Definitely not for me. Here’s an example:
“When I was running the other day, I had a stabbing pain in my throat area, like where my thyroid is and it’s been difficult to swallow. I used to have annual ultrasounds done on my thyroid to make sure it wasn’t growing and I figured I should resume that.” I shared with the new doctor.
“Those aren’t thyroid symptoms,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Okay, well I run 10 miles a week and do yoga every day and I’m still feeling sluggish. I’m not sure what that’s about,” I continued.
“Maybe that’s just how you feel and not actually a symptom of anything,” she replied, typing on her computer. “So, do you get any physical activity?”
Seriously. I must have mentioned running three times already. I know I did. I realized then that she wasn’t listening, couldn’t hear me and didn’t care, not about me, not about the things that mattered to me. I left sad, but with lab orders, which was my goal.
When I went to get blood drawn it was a nightmare, worse than any of my horrible blood draw stories from the past and probably a story for another time. (See what happens when I stop writing? There’s just too much to say.) They didn’t get the blood. I went home crying, my arms bruised and my fear-of-blood-draws reinforced and thriving. Another long-story-short, it turned out I had COVID at the time of that failed blood draw which makes your blood clot. So when the nurse was saying, “I can’t get any blood, your veins are blowing!” she was alerting me to this, except nobody said anything about COVID except one of my best friends who is a nurse. A week later my mom tested positive and I realized that was definitely the case. (My random symptoms were failed blood draw, vertigo, headaches and extreme fatigue, none of which I put together until my mom tested positive and even then I had to retrace my steps to realize it was true. I really should share that whole story another time….)
Eventually, I got my blood redrawn and it was effortless and easy. I felt accomplished and awaited my results which started pinging my inbox almost immediately. The standard emails from the physician said, “Everything is within normal ranges.” Sigh. Okay, thanks… for nothing….
I knew I needed to see someone who cared, who listened, who saw the body as a functioning whole, not just a symptom equals a prescription equals a symptom equals a prescription. I found someone and emailed with the office and went back and forth with my thoughts, motivation, ability, and financial concerns. (Grief seriously threatened to drown my ability to start or finish anything this year.) Finally, I made the appointment and I went.
I shared everything with her that I’ve just written and then some. We figured we should get some better thyroid numbers and check for Lyme Disease, which I’d suspected since that bug bite and EBV, which I’d had in high school. She said test results take about 2 weeks and I wouldn’t hear from her before our next appointment unless it was serious. So when I heard from her 5 days before our appointment, I felt a little panicky.
“the” bug bite circa 2014
“I’d like to talk tomorrow,” her message said. She attached my test results and I scanned them with some knowledge, some ignorance, and total heightened alert.
We spoke. We went over everything and I guess that’s why I’m here, to sort it all out and get it all out on “paper” so I can make sense of it. Maybe you can share your experiences as well, if you’ve dealt with Lyme and EBV.
IGG for Lyme and EBV shows something that happened in the past and there are normal ranges and abnormal ranges for these. For Lyme, I had an IGG that showed reactivated. That means I have had a Lyme infection in the past and it has since reactivated, at a pretty high level.
Lyme Disease Test Result
IGM for Lyme and EBV shows something that’s happening right now, a current infection. I had that for Lyme too. So I have a current infection and a past infection that’s been reactivated.
I also had IGG for EBV, which wasn’t a surprise since we know I tested positive in high school. The normal range for that was under 21. My number is 460. So, clearly I have reactivated my Epstein Barr Virus at a very high level. No wonder I’m so tired. I have been blaming it on grief for the last year. The years before that are a blur, but I’m a mom, that’s just to be expected, right?
These things can reactivate for a number of reasons, including stress, which of course doesn’t really narrow anything down. However, I remember when my cat of 17 years died. I was devastated and our dog went lame. He just couldn’t walk. It started with a limp and then none of his legs would work. Panicked that I would lose another pet so soon after losing my Willow, we took him to the vet and he had a reactivated Lyme infection, probably from grief-stress. I was shocked that her death hit him so hard, but there you have it.
It’s possible I’ve been dealing with Lyme disease for 7 years, since that infected bug bite followed my first panic attack in a dozen years, which I blamed on the antibiotic I was prescribed. I’ve never been 100% since. I’ve gotten close, better, then worse, sometimes awful and I’ve learned a lot about MTHFR, gut health, motility, SIBO, SCD diets and paleo diets. I’ve had a miscarriage and a baby since then, who’s now five (where does the time go?). I’ve wandered down many paths in search of feeling my best and I never really rediscovered that person again. I don’t know if she’s gone forever or if there’s a chance I’ll find her and be symptom-free once more.
So here’s the plan. I’m going to very slowly and gradually start taking cat’s claw and astragalus tinctures (once I get them from my doctor). These should rid my body of the infection (Lyme) and the virus (Epstein Barr). By going the slow and herbal route, we should negate severe treatment side effects. I know Lyme is associated with food intolerances and I’m hopeful some of these might go away. Lyme is also associated with digestive disturbances and maybe I’ll be able to finally heal my gut after all these years.
Do you want access to pharmaceutical quality supplements that you can’t buy on Amazon or most other places? Register here (it’s through me but I don’t get anything out of it that I can tell): https://atpeacewithhealth.ehealthpro.com/
Local and want to see an awesome doctor who really cares? She’s relocating in December to Waynesboro, Virginia (from Charlottesville) and I couldn’t be happier. Check out Dr. Mallory Fox, primary care provider at http://www.foxfamilydpc.com
Holistic dental health is very important to me. I don’t know if you’ve seen the commercials for the Waterpik Professional Sonic-Fusion flossing toothbrush this holiday season, but I did and I turned to my husband and said, “That is all I want for Christmas.”
https://youtu.be/ZdNJSldmOgo
Waterpik Ad for the Water-Flossing Toothbrush
If you’ve read my Reversing Gum Disease Naturally post, you know that water flossing is a key tool in the reversal of gum disease. I have great appreciation and gratitude for reversing my own gum disease, where at one point I was told I would need a graft on my gums! My teeth and gums are healthier than ever and I attribute that to water flossing. Keeping the gum line free from bacteria is really important. Regular brushing and flossing won’t do it. An electric or powered toothbrush will help, but the forceful pressure of the water getting underneath the gums is really what gets them clean and clean is what prevents bacteria from degrading the gums.
My routine was to brush with my electric toothbrush and then fill up my water flosser, preferably with hot water, which took some time, and then water floss. While I am a patient person, I don’t like routines that take too long and I found a lot of excuses to not water floss. The water was too cold. I didn’t have enough time. I was tired. I could do it tomorrow. My gums are in great shape, I can put it off. Then I would see a dentist appointment looming on the calendar and realize how long it had been since my last water flossing session. Guilt. Shame. Anxiety. Self-admonishment. All the bad things.
I just knew if I got the all-in-one, I would water floss regularly again and it would help my teeth and gums stay healthier! I opened it on Christmas morning and smiled. I had the flu and was not the most excited person this last holiday season, but I was happy to have this to look forward to. I set it aside, expressed my gratitude, and told myself I would use it when I wasn’t sick anymore.
A couple of weeks went by. I healed. I recovered my house and life from my illness (I mean nobody else was going to go through the mail, pick up the clutter, demand chores be done, etc). I followed the quick start instructions on the flossing toothbrush and set to work. There was a learning curve, but no biggie. I had a learning curve the first time I started water-fossing, so I knew it would just take time. I learned that I prefer to brush first for awhile before turning on the water, otherwise the water washed away my tooth powder before it had a chance to be brushed onto my teeth.
So here’s what I do. I turn on the hot water faucet and get the brush wet, setting the reservoir open and next to the sink. I dip my toothbrush into the tooth powder and put the brush in my mouth. Starting on the upper right side of my mouth, I brush each tooth. It feels like I’m at the dentist getting my teeth polished. Never have I felt my teeth get so thoroughly cleaned before! I continue with each tooth all the way around the front, top and bottom. Then I do the backs of all of my teeth. By now the water is warm, if not hot, which is how I prefer it, and I fill up the reservoir with my left hand while continuing to brush with my right. I turn off the sink, put the reservoir back on the base and push the second button that turns on the water-flosing portion of the toothbrush. Now I’m brushing and water flossing at the same time! It’s miraculous. I really do feel like I’m at the dentist, minus the uncomfortable chair, long waiting room anxiety, and awkward chitchat. The toothbrush is on an automatic timer so it turns off after 2 minutes. When it does, I continue water flossing, tilting the nozzle toward my gum line and making sure to get between every tooth, front and back. When the reservoir is empty, I push the bottom button to turn off the nozzle and I replace the rechargeable toothbrush onto the base.
I’ve used my flossing toothbrush for almost 7 months now and I am still in love! I do get that tiny urge to skip water flossing some nights, but it’s too easy to just do it. I’m already there, standing over the sink. Why not? I have had to replace the brush head, though. I put that off too, for awhile. At $25 for a pair of brush heads, I wasn’t in a huge hurry. So far I’ve been able to get a brush head to last about 4 months.
A couple of cool things to note: 1) This model comes with a travel toothbrush case. You can separate the toothbrush from the hose and machine and take it with you when you travel. That’s a pretty great feature! (I kept my electric toothbrush, so I’ll probably take that with me on the rare occasion I leave home, but it’s good to know). 2) Some water flossers do not handle the addition of oils or mouthwash or antibacterials. They easily clog or can’t handle it. I read in the manual that this reservoir CAN handle those additions. This is really important and exciting because using Grapefruit Seed Extract (GSE), Thieves oil, Clove oil and others is a crucial component for killing off bacteria. I added Thieves once I knew it was safe, however, the oils definitely compromises the plastic reservoir! Young Living essential oils like those mentioned above are very strong and can corrode plastic. Instead of continuing to do that, I’ve started rubbing the oils onto my gums while brushing. If you do add anything to your flossing water, the only thing to remember is to clean the reservoir afterwards so it doesn’t become clogged by the oils or other liquids you’ve added.
Added note: This was ordered on Amazon as a Christmas gift, right? Well, it didn’t come in a box! It came as it is, in its own box, with a packing label stuck to it. Way to ruin the gift! It’s not like the box is so big they couldn’t stick into one of the billion Amazon boxes they use to ship things in every day, right?
Insider tip: Want to make your tooth powder last longer? When it’s about half empty, add a spoonful of baking soda!
Conclusion: Yes! The Waterpik Sonic Fusion Flossing Toothbrush is worth it! It’s perfect for the multi-tasker and anyone who’s interested in taking their dental health to the next level. Have you tried it? Do you think you will?
You may already be aware that you have MTHFR or perhaps you’ve never heard of it. Considering that in some ethnicities, roughly half the population has a form of MTHFR, I think it’s important that we all pay even more attention to the ingredient labels on our food! [It’s estimated in America that among Caucasians, 10-15% have MTHFR and among Latinos, 25% have MTHFR. These percentages increase depending on ethnicity and location.] As it is a gene mutation, it is handed down. Two of the three of my kids that we have tested have MTHFR mutations. I have one type and my husband has the other, so it’s just a matter of learning which versions the kids received and how we can support them.
Back to the purpose of this blog post: I was feeling pretty good about the organic, unsweetened almond milk I had been purchasing from Kroger for almost two years now. It was organic, which is challenging to find in almond milk, and it didn’t contain any sugar (also hard to find). That met my urgent criteria at the time during my treatment of SIBO . At the time, MTHFR was just a blip on my radar, something I had diagnosed, researched, subscribed to a treatment plan that worked for me, and then somewhat forgot about.
The almond milk in question…
One afternoon, while trying to distract my daughter from her panic attack, showing her tools that I personally use to occupy my brain, I grabbed an empty almond milk container from the recyclable pile and started reading the ingredients outloud to her, showing her where they were and what they meant. I feel fairly confident in the ingredients that we consume, so I stuttered a little as I read to her: “cyanocobalamin, which is vitamin B12”. True, it’s the last ingredient on the list. The nutrition label says it contains 0.6mcg, which isn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things. And I don’t drink much, just a dash in my decaf coffee every day. But, the reality is, I shouldn’t be consuming it. Neither should my children or my husband who all have a variant of MTHFR.
Why shouldn’t we be consuming it? It’s a vitamin, isn’t it? Aren’t vitamins supposed to be good for us? Well, yes, vitamins are good for us, when they are naturally found in food sources. Unfortunately, the vitamins added to our food (“fortified” as the labels brag), are often synthetic (fake) versions of the real thing. Fake might work for some people (the small portion of the population that doesn’t have MTHFR, for instance), but it doesn’t work for those with MTHFR.
I’ve written about MTHFR before, so I won’t go too far into it, but it is a gene mutation. We all have genes and some of them are mutated. To put it simply, MTHFR causes methylation issues, or interrupts the natural breakdown of non-methylated vitamins. Specifically, MTHFR is the inability of the body to convert folic acid into folate. Folate is natural. Folic acid is synthetic. Folic acid is what you’ll see on many vitamin bottles and even fortified food labels, but it’s not in its natural form and if you have MTHFR, your body will not absorb it. Not only that, but because of the consumption of non-methylated vitamins via foods and supplements, the receptor sites for the vitamins get blocked and there are free-floating synthetic vitamin B’s floating around the body wreaking havoc. (I am oversimplifying here in order to paint a picture.)
Consuming non-methylated forms of B vitamins can cause a myriad of symptoms or none at all (in the short term). Be advised that with no ability to breakdown or convert the synthetic vitamin to a usable source, the body will eventually become overburdened by the presence of unusable synthetic vitamins resulting in symptoms eventually. Symptoms vary per person, so I can’t say what you, in particular, will feel. I can tell you that I had a craving for Chex mix a couple of years back, so I bought a few boxes of gluten-free Chex cereal and gluten-free pretzels and peanuts. I made a healthier version of Chex mix and ate some every day, thoroughly enjoying it. I didn’t draw a connection to the heart palpitations I’d started to experience or the increase in anxiety, but I was upset by it and started looking for the source. Very clearly, on the boxes of cereals I’d used, I saw the synthetic vitamins, (so many of them!) and it dawned on me: I was flooding my body with synthetic vitamins that I couldn’t breakdown. A few months later, when I was consuming Luna Bars because they were on sale and delicious, it only took one day of high-vibration anxiety and jitters for me to check the ingredients and realize, yet again, I’d been consuming synthetic B vitamins.
So that’s my experience and not one I want to have again. I have a list in my head of foods that are safe and that is what I purchase. I’m so careful about it, which is why I was shocked that I’d had this synthetic B12 in my almond milk for who knows how long. All I can think is that I was so focused on removing all sugar from my diet while treating my SIBO, that I wasn’t thinking about MTHFR anymore.
I did write to Kroger, because they need to be educated on MTHFR and the danger of using synthetic vitamin fortification of their foods. Of course I received a standard reply thanking me for bringing it to their attention and how much they value their customers’ input. They also said: “Your comments have been shared with our store’s management team for review. We have also shared your concerns to our Quality Assurance Department for review.” I’m not holding my breath.
In addition to anxiety, some MTHFR symptoms include depression, nerve pain, digestive issues, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, chronic fatigue, migraines, chronic pain, vaccine injuries, miscarriages, tongue ties & lip ties, and the list goes on. If removing synthetic vitamins and foods that contain them, while supplementing with methylated B vitamins can keep those symptoms at bay or reverse them, isn’t it worth considering?
Take away: All vitamins are not created equal.
Here’s what I take and highly recommend: Seeking Health B12 5000 Lozenges. I take a half on an empty stomach first thing every morning. I started with a quarter, and couldn’t handle 3/4. Every body is different. Check out my protocol here.
I read and follow Dr. Ben Lynch of Seeking Health who has done extensive research on MTHFR as well as other gene mutations and he doesn’t recommend constant methylfolate intake, so I’ve taken a break from folate for awhile with no side effects. But when I did take it, this is the brand I used.
Read more about your genes in Dr. Lynch’s book DIRTY GENES!
Want to know if you have MTHFR? I think it’s valuable information but I don’t recommend going to your doctor for it. This one test cost me almost $400 (insurance didn’t cover it). Also, many medical institutions only test for MTHFR C677, not 1298 (which is more likely to cause the horrible symptoms listed above). A 23andme test is $200 and will tell you ALL the gene mutations you have. I can even help you access that information from the test results once you’ve received them.
As they said in the afterschool specials: The more you know! (Please tell me you just said that in your head and saw the star swooshing across the screen!)
This is the milk I’m using now, Califia. It has no sugar, no synthetic vitamins, no carageenan. You can buy it here!
This is the milk I’m using now – no fortified synthetic vitamins, no sugar, no carageenan….
Picture it: I’m 22 years old, working my first real grown-up job after a fairly tumultuous entrance into adulthood. (I have insurance and everything!) So I go to the dentist, which is a grown-up thing to do that I hate doing, and she says I have to go see a specialist. I go to said specialist and he’s poking and prodding and it hurts so bad! Then he starts talking to me about surgery, skin grafts, how they’ll cut tissue from the roof of my mouth and then put it above my teeth, where the gum disease was causing my gums to recede… I left and never went back.
It was always in the back of my mind, this gum disease that was going to make my teeth fall out. I continued to watch my gums as years went by. They were always sensitive. They bled. I gave up flossing. I changed dentists. Eventually, I stopped going at all.
It’s been almost 20 years since that scary appointment and I want to tell you that every time I go to the dentist (every 6 months, thank you very much), my dentist tells me everything looks great. “Looks Great!” And I’m going to tell you how.
First, I sought out a holistic dentist. Don’t stop reading if you can’t find one! There is still hope! That’s what I did, though, and they were amazing. If you’re in the Virginia area, I can’t recommend Dr. Zunka enough. Gentle, kind, caring and non-invasive. A solid 90 minute drive each way, with 2 very small children, and I still went. You can’t put a price on your health!
Before they even cleaned teeth or talked too much about dental plans for the future, they focused on gum health. I knew my gums were in bad shape. After more than 10 years of ignoring the problem and 2 kids later (kids change your teeth!), I was prepared for the worst and my gums were the worst. They had a plan though. They didn’t make me feel like a terrible person for neglecting my oral health. And they never mentioned surgery!
The plan started with 2 necessary purchases (affiliate links included below); an oral mouth irrigator / water flosser and an electric toothbrush.
I have used these 2 companies and can recommend them as affordable options. You can find much more expensive options. Shop around, based on your needs. But do start with these purchases.
To the water flosser I added GSE (grapefruit seed extract):
I placed 2 drops of GSE in the container before filling it about half-way with warm water. It kills bacteria. And it did. Each time I returned to the dentist, they would take a sample of my bacteria under my gums and show me under a microscope. Watching it disappear was huge for my confidence in the program. I knew that what I was doing was working.
I returned to the dentist four times. Each time they did a quadrant of my mouth, for a total of four. Cleaning under the gums gently with a high-powered water-flosser like I had at home helped to clear everything out. This is the reason I think you could maybe take care of things on your own at home using these products! If you’re diligent and point that flosser with the narrowest attachment and at the highest power, underneath your gums with GSE, you may be able to destroy the bacteria that is causing your gum disease!!!!
I also brush(ed) twice daily with the electric toothbrush. The electric toothbrush stimulates the gums in a way that a manual, hand-held toothbrush never could.
I have since taken an extra step since this treatment and switched from toothpaste, which has ingredients you can’t even pronounce, let alone understand, to tooth powder!
Before you balk at it, think about it. Tooth powder lasts so much longer than toothpaste and has a handful of ingredients you not only can pronounce but can understand! You simply dip your wet toothbrush into the container of dry powder and brush. You still get a fresh-breath feeling and you can be assured that the ingredients in the tooth powder are not setting you back in any way.
If you’re struggling with gum disease, you need to be aware of everything from your toothpaste/powder ingredients to your diet because we all know by now that bacteria feeds on sugar. Keep it pure. Keep it clean. You’ll see results!
After a couple of months on GSE, I switched between clove, copaiba and thieves oils. I still switch between these three oils. I use only Young Living because they are the oils we have decided are most pure, based on extensive research. You can sign up with Young Living to obtain these oil using my Subscriber and Enroller ID 1414775. Contact me if you have ANY questions!
Trust me, I know it’s not exactly the most comfortable conversation to be having, but if you struggle or have struggled with constipation, it’s worth talking about it! What if you’re not constipated?
So, if you wake up in the morning and after a few hours, you don’t have a bowel movement, do you think you’re constipated? Do you tell people that you struggle with constipation? Do you subscribe to the IBS diagnosis that’s virtually meaningless?
Don’t beat yourself up and don’t make any assumptions. You might not suffer from constipation. It is possible, as I’ve learned in my gut healingprocess, that what you’re experiencing is a motility issue.
While constipation is defined as difficulty emptying the bowels, it is associated with hardened feces. Hard little balls. That’s the image we think of when recognizing constipation. Is that you? Or do you just have trouble having a bowel movement?
Gut motility may be the bigger issue, as opposed to constipation. Gut motility is the movement of the digestive system. Movement is the key word. When you’re down to the bottom of the toothpaste tube, you squeeze the tube. If you’re really frugal, you start at the bottom of the tube and push while rolling the tube up. (My dad put paperclips on the edge to hold the fold… I keep meaning to do that for the kids!) Our colon has to do this too. It’s called peristalsis: the gentle waves that occur in the colon to move waste through and out. Sometimes, when you can’t have a bowel movement, you aren’t dealing with constipation, you’re dealing with gut motility issues.
The reason this is important is because of how you deal with a situation based on the definition or diagnosis you attach to it. If you’re constipated, you may reach for a laxative or one of these over the counter products geared toward constipation. Take it from someone who knows, if it’s not constipation, then constipation remedies will not change anything. Drinking warm water, staying hydrated, consuming fiber, exercising, and probiotics won’t help. If it is constipation, then those things should help.
Since motility has to do with movement of the GI tract and not the state of the waste in the colon, you have to look at it differently. In the SIBO world, we call these prokinetics. Prokinetics help increase the waves of the colon without disrupting the rhythm. The difference between a prokinetic and a laxative is that a laxative will force waste from your body, disrupting your body’s natural rhythm. Abuse of laxatives can permanently damage your body’s ability to expel waste. Prokinetics work with your body’s natural rhythm so you can naturally move your bowels. Below are the affiliate links to the products I’ve used, researched, and believe in.
The first prokinetic I tried was Iberogast. Oh my goodness it worked like a charm. I had a week of normal, healthy and regular bowel movements. Unfortunately, I also had a reaction to Iberogast that included a sore and itchy throat. I know better than to mess with those symptoms so I pushed it aside and continued my search. It might be perfect for you, though! 20 drops with each meal is the aggressive start. You can then taper down until you only need a few drops in the evening. It’s worth a try. It’s truly a life-changing product.
Another prokinetic is triphala. Triphala is an Ayuvedic herbal formula. I bought the powder and used a scoop a day. I still use this, however it is not the only product that keeps things moving for me. I know it’s incredibly healthy for you and serves many purposes including being a gentle bowel tonic and helping support gastrointestinal health. This is the exact product I used (below) and will continue to take daily.
My favorite supplement, though, for digestive health, is Atrantil. Atrantil uses peppermint, quebracho and horse chestnut to prohibit the growth of methane and hydrogen in the gut, which greatly contribute to SIBO and other digestive disturbances. It has been miraculous for me. I started off taking 2 capsules with every meal and eventually tapered to just 2 capsules at dinner. This wasn’t enough for me and I added in 2 more capsules at lunch, for a total of four. For our budget and my desired health, I wasn’t happy taking 4 caps a day. After talking with some people in my SIBO support group on Facebook, I’ve been taking one capsule with each meal with great success. I was nervous to try another supplement. I always am, but I am so glad I found this. You can take it for acute issues, like a meal that didn’t settle well, or you can take it regularly for GI motility. I definitely recommend keeping this on hand.
All of this in mind, you have a LOT of options for keeping your gut healthy and your bowels moving. That is key for preventing the recurrence of SIBO especially. Still, sometimes stuff happens, or it doesn’t rather, and you may find yourself desperate to use the bathroom. I’ve been there. For me, I’ve discovered it’s vitamin D!!!! Of all the things. This happened in May last year too. I was doing great, I had cured my SIBO and was using a prokinetic and everything was going smoothly (literally) until it stopped (literally). It happened after I took a dose of vitamin D, trying to get back into my vitamin routine. Everything stopped. For days. It was torture. Since then, I’ve switched up my fish oils and have started taking one that already contains vitamin D without any trouble. That is, until my doctor prescribed me vitamin D, for my low vitamin D test results. I was prescribed the kind you take once a week for 6 weeks. Every darn time I took that I would get locked up. It was like a nightmare. I tested it by skipping a dose and I was perfectly fine. As soon as I resumed taking it, I was not fine. I was advised to take it every other week to give my body a chance to recover, but I started searching for emergency bowel moving tips and now I’m going to offer them to you!
Prunes. Yeah, the old lady fruit. They’re actually really tasty. And usually 3-5 will do the trick. I think they work best on an empty stomach as opposed to taking them with breakfast or another meal. And I found some organic prunes on Amazon to keep on hand for those emergencies. This deal comes in a package of 3 bags so they stay sealed and fresh.
When you were growing up, where did you play with your friends? At your house? Their house? A park? I didn’t have a lot of friends over to my house. It seemed too stressful on my parents and my constant begging didn’t help my case, so I went to other people’s houses to play.
Now, I’m a mom. I have 3 kids and I walk this line between it being too stressful (like my parents) and wanting to be the cool house where all the kids play! This isn’t a 50/50 line; I am most definitely more on the play date house side of things. Whether they’re 3 or 8 or 15, I want my kids to know that their friends are welcome here. I want to worry less about how clean the house is, what I’m making for dinner, or whether I was hoping for some peace and quiet. That stuff I can work on internally and I do! But what about the other stuff?
How do you make your house the play date house? The cool kids house?
What does the cool kids house require? I would assume, it first requires a willing parent, who’s at least a little cool, or at least loving, which I am! Loving, that is. And willing.
What else? My daughter has come home from a play date with fresh baked cookies, telling me that they baked them together. My head sags and I feel like a defeated Charlie Brown (cue the music). I never bake cookies when the kids have friends over, let alone let them bake cookies by themselves. I may have a bit of a control-freak-possessiveness over my kitchen, er, the kitchen. I can work on that, though! I should mention that they’ve never asked! I thought when the kids had friends over they just went to play. You know, imagination, dolls, games… Do you let your kids cook in the kitchen with their friends? Do you encourage it? Discourage it?
Technology. Where do you fall on this spectrum? Kindles, iPads, phones, video games, and even movies and TV shows. Are the kids coming to play with that? Or to play with each other? I’m winging it here. When my kids have friends over and they want to do something technological, I set a timer, just like I normally would. If there are technical difficulties, I play on my ignorance and hope they’ll ditch the screen and go play outside. They usually do. On sleepover nights I am all for a movie and some extra screen time, but there’s still a cut-off and there’s still a lights-out.
It’s boundaries like this that make me wonder (worry) if my kids will prefer other homes to play at because we have rules here that I may bend, but I rarely break. What if everyone is playing a video game that you don’t approve of and you don’t allow in your house? Will your house not be the cool kids house anymore? Will your kids just end up at someone else’s house playing a game (or watching a movie, or visiting a website) you strictly forbade? I don’t know. I do know that boundaries are good, healthy and desired by our children. I watch my kids bump up against the boundaries we set and they bounce back, sometimes frustrated, but in general unfazed by the restriction.
Boundaries are like a HUG: firm, strong, consistent, and filled with love.
Siblings. Oh, did you see me roll my eyes? What do you do about them? I get that a playdate is a really special event and often requires some privacy. At least, that’s what I tell my oldest when she’s whining about her little sister. I offer up the guest room or another place they can play alone for a little while. I also understand that it’s hard to watch your sister take off with a friend and have a blast laughing and squealing and you’re supposed to just what? Sit on the couch and twiddle your thumbs? I encourage inclusion whenever reasonable. I hope their personalities can all jive and maybe they can play a board game together or run around the backyard together. But I also get the “this is my friend and I want to play with her alone” part of it. Shrug. The 2 year old hasn’t started having any social issues, so I’ll be curious to see how that unfolds. For now, I’ll juggle the two big kids and try to figure it out. What do you do?
Opposite sex. Remember the guest room I mentioned? My oldest likes to take a friend in there and play ponies or puppies or whatever other imaginary game they’ve invented. I let her have sleepovers in there, too. Since our kids share a room, I know it’s important to have a little space to herself when a friend is over. But my middle child has a boy friend she adores! I try to keep things fair and let them go play, but next thing you know there are pants “falling off” and they’re hiding from me and nope, the door is now open, if not removed from the hinges. Tell me your stories and tell my what works for your family!
Going to other kids’ houses….
Does it make you nervous? It makes me nervous. I have been pretty selective about whose house my kids can go to. Usually parents I’ve met at school and had conversations with. But, as they get older, they may want to play with kids whose parents I don’t know and then what?
What are realistic expectations when you allow your child to go to someone’s house? Besides keeping your child safe, do you expect the parents to watch them the whole time? Probably not, but therein lies the fear of what could go wrong. Insert family members you’re unaware of, older siblings, and a very different set of boundaries and you have the stuff mommy nightmares are made of.
And guns. I have to bring it up because one of my friends is so amazing and courageous, in that she asks parents about guns before her child goes over to play. I admit I haven’t asked and I feel disappointed in myself for not doing so. She asks if there’s a gun, if it’s loaded and if it’s locked away. I abhor confrontation, but I understand that these are important questions. Do you ask?
Trust. Faith. Awareness. Hope.
n my hope to spark a discussion (and get some advice), I may have inadvertently sparked a bonfire of fear and that wasn’t my intent! I’m learning as a parent, that I cannot stop my children from getting hurt. I can’t stop the world from leaving its mark on them in ways that I may despise. But I can teach them the difference between right and wrong. I can educate them about kindness and the power of choices.
And then I have to trust. Every day my girls go to school and are influenced far more by their teachers and peers than they are by me and their dad (if you’re looking at hours spent = influence). Every day they come home to us and we try to pry out of them details of not just their education but they’re social interactions and emotional experiences. I have to trust that they hear our words and store them in their hearts. I have to trust that the influences they’re receiving at school are mostly good and that they’ll choose to turn their backs on the negative voices.
I have to have faith. Whatever your belief system is, it takes a certain degree of faith to watch your child(ren) walk into a building away from you for 8 hours every. single. day. Without faith, I would be beyond a bundle of nerves. My imagination is far too good to let run free in this arena. My girls ask me to pray every morning for their angels and this is what I pray: “God, surround the girls with the angels you’ve assigned to them to protect them. Bring them home to me safely this afternoon.” I don’t know who it comforts more, me or them. But on a cute note, my 2-year old now asks, “Mommy, can you pray?” because he hears his sisters ask me all the time.
Even with trust and faith, I have to remain vigilant in my awareness of what’s happening around me, around my children and in the world. Not too vigilant, lest I lock us all up in the name of safety. To remain aware I go to their schools to have lunch with them or help with parties. I talk to their teachers and bus driver regularly. I attend field trips when I’m able. I read every scrap of paper they bring home, even if I forget most of it a second later. Being aware is allowing myself to become a part of the community that my children call home 5 days a week. By being a part of it, I can see who they surround themselves with and make decisions accordingly.
I can’t end this without mentioning hope. Because even though this started out as a blog post asking for advice on how I can have the cool kids house where all the playdates happen (is it play dates or playdates?), I have opened some doors on some dark and scary places that are inherent to the discussion. So let me a shine a light in those dark places with hope. I have hope that children (mine and yours) are good and will choose goodness. I have hope that love will conquer all and peace will be found despite the battles that rage all around us (hello, Facebook fighters, I’m talking to you). I have hope that kindness will be the tool of choice in my children’s daily lives. And I aspire to be that example for them, so they know what it looks like to offer friendship instead of criticism, to offer help instead of turning their backs, to to offer empathy instead of mockery, and to offer acceptance instead of judgment.
I really want to hear from you! Here or Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest. Share this post and let’s have a conversation! I know I’m not the only mom of elementary-aged kids who have a million questions about playdates! Let’s talk about it together.
