Last week went pretty well, I think! Let’s just say dinner was on the table each night. Sometimes boring. Sometimes cooked hours before it needed to be. But it was there! And we are fed! Phew, postpartum with 3 littles is totally different!
This week, I’m trying to keep it simple and cheap by using what we have in our fridge and freezer so we don’t have to buy much. Monday isn’t really a meal, but more of a mash-up of random foods in our fridge from the weekend, which gives me a clean slate for the rest of the week. So forgive me, but this is a shorter week of plans!
My first weekly meal planning postpartum. Phew. baby is a month old. I didn’t plan on it taking so long to find some kind of routine. Part of this is because my second baby slept all the time and I was able to resume normal activities so quickly. Part of this is because my new baby ended up needing frenectomy procedures at 5 days old, my milk supply suffered and I didn’t have any free time. When I wasn’t nursing, I was pumping. When I wasn’t pumping, I was changing a diaper. When I wasn’t changing, I was helping baby go to sleep. When I wasn’t rocking or soothing, I was using the bathroom and tending to my own healing. When I wasn’t tending to my immediate bodily needs, I was trying to see my other two children, who were missing me to the point of my heart cracking inside of me. It was just a nightmare. I didn’t think having my new baby would be so hard… I pictured a beautiful time of cuddling, nursing, and snuggling with all 3 of my babies. Not the tears, exhaustion and stretched beyond my limits that I experienced…
Anyway, that’s a story for another time, one that I’m excited to share, from the birth to the postpartum, but for now, meal planning. Remember? I did it!! I planned meals and I plan on preparing them! Since the meals my father and mother-in-law made for us in the freezer have been used up, I’m forced to figure this stuff out! Even if it means chopping vegetables in the morning and trying to find as many slow cooker recipes as possible without boring my family to tears!
So, enjoy!
Monday: Frittatas (doubled the recipe to use up our spring oversupply from our chickens) and GF biscuits
Thursday: Baked swai, kale salad (mix from Costco), and steamed rice
Wish me luck this week – making dinner and caring for my THREE children now! And meanwhile, welcome our son, affectionately called Little Man until his nickname comes to him….
Things have been a little quiet on my blog this year and I haven’t been very forthcoming about the reasons. You see, after years of wanting one last baby, my husband finally reached the “yes” stage and we settled on October, 2014.
Well, if you’ve followed my trials and health issues, you know that the fall of 2014 was a trying time for me physically and I was in no position to get pregnant. I didn’t feel safe getting pregnant until January of 2015 and, as usual, we were pregnant right away. That month I also got the flu unlike anything I’d ever experienced and fought a county board of supervisors to legalize backyard chickens (a fight we lost). It was a painful, exhausting, devastating month. And when February 12th, 2015 brought news of my miscarriage, I just felt completely defeated.
As I’ve always had easy conceptions and easy pregnancies, having to wait to get pregnant and then have a miscarriage was just heart-wrenching. My mind and body went into survival mode and I sought out answers using the genetic testing of 23andme.com (affiliate link) and the help of my wonderful chiropractor. I mourned and ached, wondering if my health issues of 2014 had ruined my body forever. Oh I learned a LOT from the genetic testing (definitely another post on that), including a gene I have that indicated I might have estrogen dominance and may require progesterone.
Of course it’s not recommended that you just randomly start taking a hormone, though I was tempted. I was eager to begin healing from the miscarriage and preparing my body for my future pregnancy and still I decided testing was more important, rather than starting something that might make things worse. I decided to use DUTCH precision hormone testing, for many reasons, the main one being that they are the most comprehensive and thorough. I was very amazed by the results I received and how detailed they were. (As a practitioner, I can get much better pricing on these tests, so let me know if you’re ever interested.) I am so glad I got this testing done and was able to immediately apply the information I gleaned.
The test results showed that my hormones would have been interpreted as “normal” had it been done in a regular medical office. While looking at the detailed results of my tests though, I could see (and it was noted) that I was barely hanging on the lowest marker for normal. While this would have been considered a normal progesterone level, it was not normal enough for an ovulating woman of child-bearing age, hoping to retain a pregnancy.
I was pretty relieved by the news and started hunting for a progesterone cream to begin using right away. I really appreciated this website as I researched. And here’s the one I decided on (affiliate link):
It took a couple months to regulate my cycle and in May we were pregnant again. I took tests every couple of days to make sure the line was getting stronger (hormones increasing).
I scheduled an early ultrasound to confirm it was a viable pregnancy at 7 weeks (something I’d never done before). Even after I saw the heartbeat of our baby, I couldn’t relax. I waited impatiently for the 11 week appointment to hear the heartbeat again. I ordered all the blood work, including the chromosome testing. I waited impatiently for those results. Even after finding out that there were no abnormal chromosomes, that we’re having a boy(!!!), that the due date is February 12th (the same date as my miscarriage), and hearing the heartbeat again, I have yet to truly settle into “just being pregnant”, something that I used to do so easily.
I have really panicky days (or nights, as was the case during my insomnia last night) where I think what if he doesn’t make it? How will I cope? What will people say? Would I try again? Or would this be the end? I’ve had very intense prayers asking God to please let this baby stay. Please?!
I’m now approaching 17 weeks and I’ve felt some movement of baby, heard his heartbeat several times and gone through exhausting lists of boy names. I’ve cleared out tons of baby girl clothes to make room for this little man and still I can’t fully accept that he’s coming. Don’t get me wrong, I want him to, so badly. But I’ve been robbed before. It’s hard to trust that it won’t happen again. I asked my friend, who’s also had miscarriages, when the feeling would go away and she said, “It doesn’t.” She could say that, at 32 weeks pregnant. It makes me realize that we put so much pressure on women to be as healthy as possible during pregnancy and to “enjoy being pregnant”, that “worry doesn’t help anything” and “stress is bad for the baby”, but at some point we also need to recognize that these feelings are so very real and very normal. Bad things happen. Loss happens. And there’s no way to ever know for sure that something is going to have a positive outcome. We still try, though. We keep moving forward and we know that despite the doubts and fears, we will find hope and cling to it.
This has been the longest pregnancy ever and I’m not even halfway through. Waiting to get a positive pregnancy test, waiting for confirmation, waiting for a heartbeat, waiting for blood test results, waiting for another appointment to hear the heartbeat again, and now waiting for the anatomy scan in October. And I’m finding gratitude for all of it, even the anxiety. I move forward. I make baby announcements. I go through possible boy-clothes. I day dream about birth and those first few magical days thereafter. And I believe. More than anything I am choosing to believe that this baby will stay.
Needless to say, I’ve been incredibly distracted and in need of major distractions. Between my kids, family, friends and various projects I’ve undertaken, I’ve just had to step away from this blog, even though I love preparing and researching and sharing information with you all. I couldn’t imagine writing about anything else until I shared my loss and my rainbow pregnancy along with my fears.
I hope you understand and can keep me lifted up in your prayers and thoughts. If you’d like to keep an eye on my pins and posts, follow me on Pinterest and Facebook.
You know I have been on quite the journey with my health. You can read about it on my blog: How I took some antibiotics that set off my mutated genes; How I tried to treat Candida and only made it worse; How I discovered I had MTHFR; How I tested and treated my neurotransmitter imbalance; And how I experienced over-methylation symptoms from vitamins that were supposed to help me. Quite the journey, indeed.
Well, during all the panic attacks, stomach aches, jitters and nausea, I still had to function. It’s not like illness sweeps in and the world pauses, waiting for us to get better. No, I still had to take my oldest to school and care for my youngest everyday. We still went to California for our anniversary and traveled to see family for Thanksgiving. There hasn’t been a pause button, as much as I wish there had been.
During it all, I had to find something to stop my anxiety from escalating. I was pursuing a holistic treatment plan, which sometimes takes time and during that time, I still had to survive. That’s why I say crocheting saved my life. Wherever we went, I would take a crochet hook and a ball of yarn. I was so new at crocheting last year, that all I could really create was a square and a rectangle (read: potholder and dish towel). It worked for me though. Focusing on my stitches, moving the hook in and out, turning my work, counting; all of this brought a much-needed distraction to me and something I could be proud of in the end. It also made great gifts!
Have you found your crochet? Do you have something that calms your mind and your body? It truly can be life-saving. You see, your mind can’t actually focus on two things at once. Take this NPR article for example; when people are multitasking, they are actually switching from one thought to the other rapidly and it can be really exhausting. To choose something for yourself that occupies the anxious thoughts is to literally stop your mind from going where you don’t want it to. This article from Forbes says more of the same: it is better to concentrate on one thing than to try to juggle many. So if your thoughts are getting away from you and anxiety is increasing, concentrate on something else!
Sitting on an airplane, juggling two toddlers, feeling the nausea and the anxiety build inside of me, I grabbed my yarn and started crocheting. When I finished my pot holder and was out of yarn, I unraveled it and started again, because that’s how badly I needed my crochet. Long car rides as a passenger have triggered me as well, so I don’t leave without a project. Focusing on my stitches helps me forget the car, the traffic, the feeling of being trapped, and the thoughts about the destination. Sitting had become one of my dreaded states of being. Even if I loved my friends and family, sitting still allowed my body and mind to become so anxious that I just wanted to run away. Crocheting was a way to stay present with people, while occupying my mind and body with another activity.
Everything about crocheting has captured my heart. I love to create and give to others and crocheting has allowed me to do that. From picking out the colors to planning the project, I am thinking of the intended recipient. Each stitch is filled with love and thoughts of others and so I am gifting them as well as myself.
Things are better now. I don’t need crochet to get through a drive or a visit with people. I have started making scarves, hats, purses, and blankets. I feel so thrilled with this developing skill and so grateful for what it brings to me. It is my meditation. It is my relaxation. It is my “do something for yourself” and my “me time”. And with all of that, it’s still something I can do while I visit with my husband or snuggle with my girls. I’ve found my thing and I hope you find yours too. Because there’s no better way to calm your thoughts than to distract them with something beautiful, lovely and productive.
Are you interested in learning crochet? Here are some of my favorite sites to get you started: Video Tutorials for Beginners by BobWilson123 Video Tutorials for Beginners by Moogly Blog Once you get the basics down, you’ll discover that BobWilson123 and Moogly have amazing projects you can create! Ravelry is also a community of people who crochet, knit and loom and are always sharing their projects and patterns. It’s fun to search Pinterest and other sites for inspiration and then challenge yourself to try something new! Enjoy!
Are you following me on Pinterest? Have you liked my Facebook page? I’d love to see you there!
I’ve meant to update about MTHFR and my health for so long! I’ve promised it to many and I’m finally sitting down to write it out. I think I arrived at such a better place after it that I forgot to post at all. I guess that’s a pretty good testament to this protocol!
If you want to know what MTHFR is (and you should, since nearly half of all Americans have it), check out this blog specifically about MTHFR. If you want to follow the journey of discovery and where I came from, see this post about antibiotics & anxiety and this one about Candida and this one about over-methylation.
My discovery of MTHFR began with a bug bite and a prescription that immediately caused panic attacks. It took me months to bounce back from that. I truly believe my discovery of MTHFR helped me to have a successful last pregnancyand a healthy last baby. But I still wasn’t feeling great.
When I had survived pregnancy,postpartum, baby’s tongue- and lip-ties, and was beginning to feel like a human again, I started to get serious about my symptoms. My most concerning symptom was this undercurrent of jitters. It wasn’t quite like anxiety, but more like a high, fast vibration that I couldn’t subdue. Oh sure, I could self-medicate with wine and I reduced sugar so as not to encourage it, but it was always there. I continued my regimen, but it wasn’t working.
I met with my NP, who is an expert with MTHFR. She presented me with a protocol that I was nervously excited to begin. She pointed out that my current regimen (which included a Thorne vitamin) was inconsistent for my needs. It was causing my jitters! All throughout my pregnancy and postpartum challenges, my vitamin was actually making things worse. Insert huge sigh here.
So here is what I did, including affiliate links below. (Purchasing via these links will not affect your price at all, but will contribute a tiny bit to the creation and maintenance of this blog.)
The First Step:
I purchased Seeking Health Active B12 5000. Sometimes this isn’t available on Amazon, but I’ve had no problem getting it directly from Seeking Health itself.
I cut a tab in fourths. For one week, I took a quarter of a tab every morning on an empty stomach. I kept careful watch over myself and my jitters. I didn’t feel terrible, but I didn’t feel better either.
After a week (or maybe 2, because I was scared to increase the dosage), I switched to a half of a tablet. This also seemed to settle pretty well. When you’re hypersensitive to every feeling in your body, thanks to years of anxiety, jitters, and uncertainty, it’s hard to know what’s causing what, but I convinced myself to trust the process.
The goal is to increase until a dose is uncomfortable and then step back to the previous dose that felt good. I tried off and on for weeks to get to 3/4 of a tablet. I had jitters. I had discomfort. I thought maybe it was a stomach bug one week. Another time I tried, I thought it was PMS messing with me. Or I didn’t get much sleep this week, so that could be it. So many possibilities, but I ended up back at half a tablet every time.
When I spoke to my NP about it she said it was clear to her that I was a half-er. And that’s ok! I wasn’t necessarily trying to get up to a point of tolerating a whole tablet of B12. I was trying to get up to my perfect dose and for many people a half is just good enough.
The Next Step:
Once I was on the dose that worked for me, the next step was to add in Folate. But not just any folate and definitely not folic acid. Methylfolate is the supplement needed since MTHFR prevents my body from being able to break down and absorb folate. I purchased Bluebonnet Earth Sweet Cellular Active Methylfolate 1000 mcg.
My mornings began with a half of a B12 tablet and a whole methylfolate tablet. And then I waited. Would I feel bad? Would it cause jitters? Would it make things better or worse?
Let me say that I felt better than I had in years. I felt energized and jitter-free and just so free in my body. I wish I could say that amazing feeling lasted, but I think my body got used to it and the euphoria settled into normalcy. I’m not complaining! I’ll take normal any day.
I cannot issue medical advice, but I am happy to share my journey and my resources with you. I think this protocol is worth trying if you have or suspect you have MTHFR. MTHFR is SO common and can cause so many issues, including but not limited to:
The first step in reintroducing B vitamins into my system was methyl folate. Now, remember, I’ve been pretty bad off as far as anxiety, stomach, nausea, and heart palpitations go, so I wasn’t hoping for a miracle, just some relief. I ordered the methyl folate and began taking it.
Day 1: I was nervous but didn’t feel anything, really.
Day 2: I was surprised how good I was feeling, lots of energy and low anxiety.
Day 3: I cried because I felt sooooooo good. It was truly amazing. Night 3: I had a horrible experience which included cold sweats and an ever-increasing heart rate. I thought I either had the flu or was having a heart attack. It passed quickly, but I was deeply shaken.
Day 4: I didn’t take the methyl folate and I began extensive research on over methylation.
So, for many people, taking a small dose of methyl folate wouldn’t have a negative effect. In fact, many people take much larger doses regularly and feel fabulous. I am super sensitive to vitamins in general and especially B vitamins. I’ve been so desperate to get back on track with my health that I was hoping things would be easier. But alas…
I have since changed my course of action. I have been taking a prenatal with methylated B vitamins (affiliate link below). The full dose is 3 per day and I am only taking one. Eventually, I will get to 3, which will give me the 800 mcg of folate recommended for women of child-bearing age. I think it’s crazy that I’m trying to get to 800 mcg when some people take upwards of 5 mg! (Some people take 50 mg for depression!) This is where I am, though.
While taking it, I haven’t experienced the horrible palpitations I had on Night 3, mentioned above. I have, however, had a sensation of heartburn, or something similar to it, that has had me feeling like I need to burp – the kind of burp you’d have if you drank a large soda… It’s a very strange, unnerving feeling that is fairly constant, like a pressure building inside of me. I imagine the methyl donor going to my cells and as the cells divide, there may be inflammation or nitric oxide or detoxification flooding my body. Something is happening in there!
Symptoms of over methylation:
Achy Joints
Acne
Anxiety
Headaches
Insomnia
Irritability
Migraines
Nausea
Palpitations
Rash
Sore Muscles
It’s sad, really… Try to do the right thing and wind up with some other side effects.
I’ve been following Dr. Lynch on MTHFR.net and HIGHLY recommend that you follow him as well, if you suspect that you have any MTHFR issues going on. There are things that can be done BEFORE starting methyl folate, which may prevent these over methylation symptoms. Dr. Lynch talks about them here. The list includes electrolytes to balance potassium and magnesium levels, glutathione to help increase glutathione in the cells when they divide, and superoxide dismutase to break down superoxide into hydrogen peroxide.
Dealing with over methylation symptoms whether you’ve done the above recommendations or not? Dr. Lynch recommends in this article the following supplements to help: Niacin as nicotinic acid (50-100mg) to quench excessive SAM, liposomal circumin (250 mg) to quench inflammation, hydroxocobalamin to reduce nitric oxide and hydrogen sulfide levels, electrolytes, and glutathione as mentioned above. He also mentions reducing leafy greens until side effects go away because they contain methylfolate and nitrates.
If you’re like me or any of the many clients (and friends and family members) I’ve spoken with, you might be annoyed by all of this. Why can’t you find out what’s wrong and then take something to fix it and go back to normal life? Well, I think we’re programmed by the pharmaceutical industry to think there should be a pill to fix things. We’re blinded by the promises of pills that fix any random ailment, despite the long lists of side effects. Yes, side effects are a possibility of anything you take. Yes, sometimes there are things you should do before starting a treatment plan, to prevent side effects. And yes, sometimes the thing you think will help just doesn’t. But you can’t give up can you? I don’t really believe that if I went on an anti-anxiety medication my troubles would be behind me. Aside from sedation, I don’t think anything would stop me from living in this situation right now. I can’t get away from it and I can’t get outside of my body. Better to stare it all straight in the eye and take a deep breath, dive into the research and choose a path, which is what I have done. I’m going to add the hydroxocobalamin lozenges (affiliate link below) to my regimen in the hopes that helps clear up what I assume is nitric oxide and/or hydrogen sulfide levels in my body. Stay tuned!
So, I had the doctor order me a blood test for MTHFR, despite his hesitation and questioning whether there was a diagnosis code he could use. You see, the medical world (mostly) views MTHFR only from a homocysteine perspective. Since I hadn’t had any heart problems or bad blood tests, there wasn’t much he could use for a diagnosis code. (Read: Fault in the system, since there are MANY things that could indicate MTHFR) He chose anxiety as a diagnosis code and time will tell whether the insurance company will pay for it.
Then I had to wait over the weekend for results. That was hard enough. I urged myself not to research because if it was negative, then where would I be? Come Monday morning my husband called me from work. I knew he wouldn’t call if it was negative. Nerves shaking, I answered his call. He told me the doctor wanted to talk to me. Okay, so it’s worse than I thought, I decided. Not exactly, I had to listen as the doctor talked to me about how the test isn’t easy to read and the result of the test doesn’t actually mean anything. (Was I hearing this correctly?) Finally, I asked, “Is there the number 1298 on the test?” When he confirmed, I asked if it was positive. He said, “Yes, but that doesn’t tell us anything.” On the contrary, it told me a lot. I had to wait to see the test with my own eyes that evening and figure out exactly what it meant.
There is so much to say about MTHFR, so much that is written about it and yet, so much that isn’t understood. To sum it up, an enzyme needed to break down folate (a necessary B vitamin) is compromised and doesn’t work efficiently. Think of all the foods that are “vitamin fortified” – they are fortified with folic acid (among others). If your body can’t break down folic acid (to turn it into methyl folate), it’s just another vitamin floating around unused in the body. Not only that, in its effort to turn into methyl folate, it blocks the receptors at the blood brain barrier, so real folate couldn’t get through if it tried. Remember how I posted that I didn’t have ANY B vitamins when I got my Organic Acids Test back? Big red flag. Since I take prenatals everyday and eat a very healthy diet, I should have had B vitamins! Too much folic acid and not enough folate (the natural version) can cause a lot of problems if your body doesn’t know how to break down folic acid and convert it to methyl folate. Basically folic acid is the synthetic version of the natural folate (found in spinach, garbanzo beans and lentils). When you can’t break folic acid down, it clogs the receptors in the brain, so they can’t get the natural folate either.
So what do I have? I have the Heterozygous 1298 / Normal 677. This means that one parent passed down a 1298 mutation. My test literally reads: “Positive for one copy of the A1298C variant”.
Check out this chart showing all the possible things that can be caused by MTHFR (images taken from : http://www.mindmeister.com/12694596/mthfr-related-health-problems )
I don’t know about you but if an estimated 50% of Americans have a mutated variant copy, don’t we deserve to know? If MTHFR is linked to all the above disorders and diseases, toxicity and addictions, shouldn’t we find out? What if something as simple as taking a methylated version of B vitamins is all we needed to feel better and help our bodies detoxify and thrive, while preventing disease?
Well, that’s my first step: methyl folate. I posted this on my Facebook page last week, but will share the affiliate link again below, because it’s worth knowing about:
Dr. Neil Rawlins of Richland, WA has researched MTHFR for years. When patients say they can’t afford the blood test, he suggests trying methyl folate (as shown above). If symptoms improve, it was a simple issue of methylation dysfunction. Yes, you deserve to know if you have an MTHFR variant. Yes, you deserve to know what can help it. But, if you, like many, can’t afford to test for it, you can try methyl folate in such a small dose as 1 mg a day, increasing gradually, and seeing how it helps you feel. Your body NEEDS methyl folate in order to create serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine, among other neurotransmitters. The inability to convert folic acid to methyl folate can lead to depression, anxiety (ding! ding! ding!), fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, migraines, schizophrenia, dementia, Parkinson’s disease, and more!
As we all know, folic acid (or folate) is necessary when trying to conceive. The catastrophe that could’ve happened had I gotten pregnant with zero vitamin B in my system is something that shakes me up every time I think of it. Many women with infertility issues and a history of miscarriages have an MTHFR variant. Many women (and men) are helped greatly by the inclusion of methylated vitamin B. Methyl folate is just one methylated B vitamin, but it is a crucial one to start the journey with.
I will speak further on over-methylation symptoms and treatments as well as the absence of a “magic pill” that makes everything better. Today, I just wanted to start the conversation and inform you of your right to know about this VERY COMMON gene variant and how it could be wreaking havoc on your health. Don’t let your doctor say, like mine did, that this is just something people are writing about on the Internet and we don’t see any connection to anxiety (or birth defects, or chronic fatigue), because it’s not true!
You know by now that I’ve done lots of things to help with my health trials, including seeing my chiropractor and Naturopath. I had already been to my MD and had blood tests ordered, which all came back normal. This is extremely frustrating since I KNEW something was wrong. I’d asked to be tested for candida and he said, “It wasn’t indicated.” So, I went to a Naturopath and he suggested I get an Organic Acids Test. I’m all for testing. I’m all for functional medicine and knowing my levels and doing what I can to improve them. This can shed a whole new light on an exhausting situation!
Unfortunately, many tests are not covered by insurance (though many are!). In my case, the organic acids test was not covered by my insurance (though he called to find out, which I appreciated). Desperate for answers, I shelled out the $300 and proceeded with the test, which was a urine test from Great Plains Lab. I had hoped to have results before my trip to CA, but the results took a lot longer than expected.
Despite the delay, I appreciated the results. The Naturopath had been certain that the results would show a bacteria causing all of my issues and that we would treat that and be done, but that was not the case. Instead, the numbers only showed Candida in the yeast, fungal and bacteria markers. The numbers weren’t even that high (probably because I’d already been on herbs and tinctures to help kill it).
The next section that was off for me was the Krebs Cycle. The Krebs Cycle is pretty complicated, but you can read about it here. I had very low fumaric, which could simply be because I was dehydrated, having had an aversion to water and food in general, while at my worst.
The next thing I saw was low serotonin (by measuring neurotransmitter metabolites) in the form of 5-Hydroxyindoleacetic (5-HIAA). My Naturopath said, “We can fix that, easy!” I was relieved. I had a marker that also could be responsible for neural excitotoxicity. Everything inside me was “excited” to say the least, so this made sense too. This elevated marker can also be caused by low serotonin, which I had. The test showed markers of fasting, which was also the case at the time since I couldn’t bring myself to eat. All in all the test showed proof of what was going on with me and seemed to be things we could fix. The shocking results were my zero levels of B and C vitamins!!! How could I have NO vitamins in my body? Again, I decided this was all due to the lack of eating and drinking…
I won’t bore you with all the specifics, but I will say that if you are looking to dig deeper into your health issues, you may have to test outside of the medical system. My MD has specifically told me he doesn’t practice functional medicine, which was disturbing to me. How could you NOT want to see where things are so you can fix them? I proceeded to try everything recommended to me by my Naturopath and found I struggled with the B vitamins and the 5-HTP. I had no problems with the Candaclear Four or the probiotics (both mentioned in my previous post), so this is all I could handle. I also added in Young Living orange oil topically and chewable vitamin C throughout the day. As digestive issues subsided, I was left with the high adrenaline, high anxiety and nervous stomach. Compared to where I was before, this was a big step in the right direction, but I wasn’t satisfied.
I have since signed up with Great Plains Lab so I can repeat the Organic Acids Test again in a few months, to see where I am. I have also signed up with another lab called Labrix. I decided I needed to test my neurotransmitters and my cortisol to rule out adrenal fatigue. These results were no less shocking than before. My neurotransmitter levels were all wrong. A call with their clinician on staff had me reeling and trying to decide what to do next. More testing is definitely in order. My neurotransmitter levels show a pattern equivalent to MTHFR (Methyl Tetra Hydro Folate Reductase), which is associated with the inability to process B vitamins. So testing for this gene, to see if it is lower functioning, is necessary before I take my next step.
I don’t have all the answers yet. I hope to, soon. And I’ll keep you updated. I can say that I’m so happy to have all the information I do have about my body and my health! It puts things into perspective. Had I gone a traditional route with my health, I’m sure I’d be on an anti-anxiety medication right now and that wouldn’t fix anything or help me figure out what went wrong.
If you are struggling in areas of your life with “normal” blood tests and roadblocks along the way, please consider testing outside of the medical realm. I am signed up with many labs, but especially recommend the labs above. I can get a test kit to you quickly and discretely. You don’t have to live in confusion and disarray. We all deserve to know what’s happening with our health and sometimes we need someone on that path with us who’s willing to be a detective. I’m here and I’m willing and I’m grateful for those who’ve been alongside me during my journey. It’s harder to look at myself clearly and I’m grateful the professionals I’ve spoken with. Please contact me if you think you would like to test yourself. There are SO many options, but the results are well worth it!
The truth is, there are SO many tests available, and it is completely up to you where your health issues are and what needs to be tested. Look through the links above and let me know if I can help in any way. It’s important to know that the power of our health is in our hands. No one will advocate more for you than YOU.
If you haven’t read the first part of this series, Antibiotics & Anxiety, please do, as it will provide some needed back story…
So, there I was bursting with adrenaline and no way to handle it. I was torn between staying in bed and sleeping as much as possible or making myself move, move, move to try not to think about it. I was so shaken up by the initial attack I had while driving, that I was fervently searching for an answer. Since my chiropractor had muscle tested me and was sure all of this was happening in my gut, I landed at my self-diagnosis: Candida.
There are a lot of symptoms associated with Candida and I had a lot of them, though none outwardly noticeable (thrush or yeast). Some symptoms associated with candida are:
– acne – allergies (food & air) – anxiety – chronic fatigue – confusion – depression – ear or eye irritation – feeling “drunk” or lightheaded after minimal amounts of alcohol – GI problems (bloating, chronic diarrhea, constipation, cramps, gas, heartburn) – headaches – heart palpitations – hives – hyperactivity – irritability – loss of memory – migraines – rashes – recurrent fungal infections – respiratory problems (asthma, nasal & lung congestion) – severe PMS – sexual dysfunction – sinus pressure – sleep disturbance (*Source: Goldberg, B. (Ed.). (2002). Alternative medicine: The definitive guide. Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts.)
These symptoms could be associated with so many issues and often get mistreated or misdiagnosed. I was sure that my two rounds of antibiotics in six months had contributed to some form of Candidiasis and I was going to treat it, kill it, and be done with it.
I threw myself into the Candida Diet. If you’re not familiar, it’s basically sugar-free, as in free of all sugar. No wine (sigh), no grains, no starches, no, no, no… It’s everything I’m against. But I was scared. I was desperate, and I actually felt a little better on it. My worst attack happened after a cup of decaf coffee and a gluten-free cookie bar, so in my mind, sugar had played a huge role. I had a huge aversion to sugar anyway, so it wasn’t that hard to connect the dots.
I learned a lot of new recipes. I even made a Pinterest board for Candida recipes. I made my own salad dressings and even made my own mayonnaise (I didn’t like it). I ate a lot of eggs, meat, chicken, fish, and a ton of salads. I was starving all the time, but I was functioning. That was an improvement!
A visit to my holistic dentist’s office only confirmed Candida. The woman who was working on my gums sympathetically listened to my story. She checked my mouth and said I had candida in my mouth! Gross. So, I took her prescription for Nystatin to a pharmacist and immediately started taking it. It was powdered. I swished it in my mouth four times a day and it was disgusting. Remember, though, I was desperate.
After a couple of weeks on the diet, 10 days on a CandidaGone supplement and several days on Nystatin, I found myself regressing. My body was wasting away. I felt weak, anxious all the time, and so hungry, but with no desire to eat. I lost a lot of weight (read: The Weight I Never Wanted to Lose) and I wasn’t making progress anymore. The week of my birthday I started calling a local Naturopath, begging for an immediate appointment, no matter the cost. I needed a detective, someone who would listen to everything I had been through and hopefully see a pattern and a path back to wellness.
The first thing he said? “Get off that Candida Diet!” I was crushed. I thought I was helping myself, healing myself. I have all the books, education and research I needed to support what I was doing. He gently explained that the diet doesn’t kill candida and our bodies will get sugar from anything they can, even if we remove all of it. The body will find sugar in broccoli or lettuce if it has to. He said my tongue didn’t show signs of candida, but signs of a cold digestive system. This made sense. Everything was cold and tight and all balled up inside of me. As I sat in his office, I was curled up into myself, rocking, shivering and trying desperately to keep it together. I was scared to eat real food again, but also relieved to be told I needed to.
He gave me some herbs, a powdered probiotic MindLinx (which is a great option if you struggle with swallowing pills) and the charcoal pills I mentioned in my last blog. He also asked me to take an Organic Acids test. None of this was in our budget, but health is more important than money, so I did it. The results of the test took longer than I liked to receive, but while eating a normal diet again and taking charcoal at least four times a day and the herbs as well, I was actually improving.
I have a lot to say about testing, like the Organic Acids test I’ve done and others, that aren’t available in regular medical offices. I just don’t have the space for it here, so I’ll stick to the topic at hand: Candida Diets.
As a holistic nutritionist, I would have prescribed this diet to anyone suffering. I would have done so knowing that this was the right form of treatment. And then I experienced it, and it wasn’t right for me. It may not be right for you either. If you are struggling with similar symptoms and feel like you may have Candidiasis, please consider a powerful 30-day supplement program that will help destroy it, while also taking a healthy probiotic and charcoal. This, I know, will do better things for you than trying to starve the sugar beast from your body. I will post affiliate links below for the products I recommend.
About Candaclear Four: What I like about Candaclear Four is that it doesn’t contain a lot of things that might upset your stomach. On the contrary, it’s very simple. You take one white tablet after breakfast that contains garlic. After lunch, you take two capsules that are garlic and cinnamon. After dinner, you take the 4th capsule, which is filled with probiotics, L-glutamine, N-acetyl glucosamine, and Beta-carotene. None of these upset my stomach or were difficult to take. I also took the MindLinx after dinner to go along with the 4th capsule of Candaclear Four. I’m on Day 29 of my 30 days and am 95% better. I haven’t had a panic attack in a month and each day I feel stronger.
Remember when I had strep throat? It was a humbling experience. I mean, I live such a healthy life and then I come down with something so debilitating that I’m at urgent care filling a prescription antibiotic? Sigh. I took my antibiotic. I got better. I took probiotics over the next few months and I felt like it was something I had put behind me. Sure, there were some subtle signs that maybe the antibiotic had altered my gut health, but I couldn’t see those until they were hindsight.
In August, there was a bug bite. It was the bug bite to end all bug bites, as it doubled in size within hours, then doubled again and again, until it was exponentially increasing in size and 30 hours later, I was crying from the pain. A visit to my integrative physician landed me on an antihistamine and an antibiotic AGAIN. It felt necessary because the poultices and oils I was using wasn’t stopping it’s increase in size. Also, I was leaving on a plane for Texas with my children; my husband and I were both nervous about what could happen if I didn’t get it resolved.
The bite decreased in size. The pain dissipated. Then I was standing in the security line at the airport and the worst feeling came over me. I was having a panic attack, the likes of which I hadn’t experienced in 15 years. I thought those days were behind me?! I ran to the bathroom while my husband stayed with the kids. I waited to throw up. It didn’t happen. I washed my face. I did deep breathing. I told myself, “You have to get through this line. You’re fine!” I made it, as you can read in my blog about flying with toddlers. But I never really felt fine… ever again….
As the days passed on my vacation in Texas, I begged my husband to talk to the doctor, to let me get off the antibiotic because I had constant butterflies in my stomach and I didn’t know if I could get on a plane again (this from a girl who LOVES to fly!). The doctor didn’t think the anxiety and antibiotic were related, but I knew better. I took several probiotics a day, thanks to my friend’s stash, and I quit the antibiotic just a few days in. The butterflies diminished, but never really left.
In fact, as time went on, I would continue to have random, devastating, debilitating panic attacks. There was no trigger. I knew it wasn’t psychological. Something was terribly wrong. And just because it needs to be said, I don’t say “panic attack” lightly. Many people will say they have panic attacks and perhaps, that is true. But I’m talking about being pulled over on the side of the road, sweating while shivering, hand over my mouth, waiting to vomit (which never actually happens), vertigo spinning me around in the car, and terrified that I won’t be able to get my children home safely. I’m talking about not being able to drive my daughter to preschool because everything is so tense inside of my body that I know I can’t get behind the wheel or it will happen again. I’m talking about leaving one of my best friend’s houses trembling, trying to get home before anyone sees this happening. My panic attacks as a child and teen were horrible and usually, I would pass out. Panic attacks as a mother though? They are a million times worse.
Despite the doctor’s opinion on antibiotics and anxiety, I have discovered something: they are definitely linked. It’s not just one antibiotic that can cause anxiety, it’s any of them.
You see, the health of your gut is responsible for the health of your mind. An antibiotic can disrupt your gut’s health and therefore your mind’s. According to the ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America), “Although relatively infrequent, psychiatric symptoms have been reported as a side effect of most antibiotics.” See where it says “most antibiotics”? So it’s not like one antibiotic is better or worse than another. They all have the capability of causing psychiatric symptoms, including anxiety. ABC news reported on a 2010 study by McMaster University in Canada in which “scientists found a link between intestinal microbiota and anxiety-like behavior”. The report goes on to explain that probiotics may help some people but are not a “magic bullet” to prevent damage from occurring in the gut while taking antibiotics.
When I went to my amazing chiropractor (who is so much more than a chiropractor), Dr. Andrew Dodge D.C., D.A.C.N.B. at Valley Family Wellness, he listened to my complaints and definitely agreed. As we went through the history of antibiotic use and the symptoms I had been experiencing, he was 100% it was my gut causing the problems. On one hand, I was relieved that this wasn’t in my head and I wouldn’t become an agoraphobic. On the other hand, I was disappointed that my healthy lifestyle and nutrition hadn’t saved me from the ill effects of antibiotic use.
I will begin to share what I’ve done and this will be an ongoing discussion here, because not everything works all the time for every person. Not everything worked for me at any given time. But I can tell you what did. And what didn’t. Let’s start with two things that I highly recommend for every household and every person.
A probiotic is probably the most important. It definitely helped me in Texas when I couldn’t get the nervousness out of my body. Probiotics with large numbers are your main priority when purchasing one. This is a great one by Designs for Health; a practitioner can order them for you (including me, so contact me if you’re interested). It’s called Probiotic Synergy and it is designed to survive manufacturing, shelf life and stomach acid in order to get where it’s needed: the colon. The affiliate link to purchase it on Amazon is below.
The next item I recommend is activated charcoal. This should be in every household. Whether you ate something that made you feel sick or you’re fighting a stomach bug, activated charcoal grabs hold of toxins, gases, heavy metals and liquid wastes and soaks them up like a sponge. They exit your body never to be heard from again. I recommend Integrative Therapeutics Activated Charcoal Tablets (affiliate link below). Take these on an empty stomach in order to avoid the charcoal from grabbing any beneficial nutrients from food or supplements. I take it either in the middle of the night of mid-afternoon when I’m unlikely to be eating.
Like I said, this will be an ongoing discussion, as just broaching the subject has me reliving some very difficult months of my life. I’ve learned a LOT during this journey and I hope that just writing about it means I’m a lot better than I was. I also hope that this can help other people in some way because there were moments when I thought I was crazy; there were moments I thought I’d be better off sedated or worse. May no one ever feel that way, feel that alone, or desperate.
Let me know if you have any experiences or questions! I’d love to hear from you!
